Washing Machine

References

• ¿Por qué no los dos?
  • Know Your Meme
  • Old El Paso Commercial
• Separate lights from darks
• Breaking Bad
• Missing Sock
• Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
• Pet Sematary
• Sweeney Todd
• Everything Everywhere All at Once
• A24
• Almost Plausible: Padlock
• Almost Plausible: Printer
• Pleasantville
• Almost Plausible: Whiteboard
• Freaky Friday
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
• What Women Want
• FDA Fish and Fishery Products Hazards and Controls Guidance – Chapter 5: Parasites

Corrections

Thomas said that the USDA sets guidelines for killing parasites in raw fish, but these guidelines are actually set by the FDA.

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Shep]
How long are they on the island together? Just the two of them?

[Emily]
That’s a good question, because that would make a difference in this answer, wouldn’t it?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Six months, they might not have kissed yet.

[Shep]
Right. Five years-

[Emily]
Five years, they’ve got a three-year-old.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Absolutely.

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary ideas and turn them into movies. Another week has gone by and you know what that means. Either it’s time to do a load of laundry or it’s time for another episode of Almost Plausible.

[Emily]
¿Por qué no los dos?

[Thomas]
Yeah, why not both? Alright, separate your lights from your darks or don’t, because it’s the 21st century and that’s not as much of a thing anymore. Grab your earbuds and get ready to do some chores while we come up with a movie about a washing machine. Helping to get the chores done are Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
Happy to be here.

[Thomas]
And I’m Thomas J. Brown. I haven’t pitched first in a while, so I’ll get us started. My first pitch is that there’s a giant industrial washing machine that when you press a button, it pulls away from the wall to reveal a secret door, which leads to a hidden meth production lab-

[Shep]
Wait…

[Thomas]
That hasn’t been done before, right?

[Shep]
It sounds familiar.

[Thomas]
No, I’m just kidding. Okay. My real first pitch is a washing machine that acts as a portal to other washing machines around the world. I have this great image in my mind of a scene in a laundromat and suddenly one of the washing machines bursts open, spilling water, wet clothes, and the main character onto the floor. The main character stands up soaking wet and looks around awkwardly at the laundromat patrons who are gawking at them nonplussed. Suddenly, another washing machine bursts open and the person chasing them comes tumbling out with the water and wet clothes and chases the main character out of the laundromat.

[Shep]
Well, a portal in washing machines would certainly explain what’s happening to all my socks.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
I thought that was more of a dryer thing.

[Shep]
Is it a dryer thing?

[Thomas]
That dryers eat sock.

[Shep]
I don’t know. I’m not counting my socks in between the washer and the dryer, so it could be either.

[Thomas]
That’s true. I’m not aware of any scientific studies that have looked at that particular.

[Emily]
Sounds like we have our weekend project in store.

[Shep]
My hesitation on this idea is people going inside washing machines because children have literally died in washing machines and that’s not a thing that I want to encourage.

[Thomas]
Right. Plus, I feel like washing-machine-as-portal is kind of obvious, which makes it a little boring. My second idea is a rom-com.

[Shep]
I like it.

[Thomas]
Yeah, it’s a rom-com about a couple that meets at a laundry machine. The apartment or dorm where they live only has one machine which has to be shared. She’s loading her clothes into the machine when he comes in with a dress shirt. He needs to wash the shirt for a last-minute job interview, but she’s nearly done loading the machine. Maybe she’s even pouring her soap in. He asks if he can put his shirt in with her clothes and even offers to pay for the load. Where does it go from there?

[Emily]
He brings her Pinkberry.

[Shep]
Yeah. She finds out he’s got a freeze ray.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
What a crazy random happenstance.

[Thomas]
Those are the two that I had this week. Who wants to go next?

[Emily]
I will throw some pitches out if you would like.

[Thomas]
Yeah, let’s hear them.

[Emily]
Alright. I have blah blah blah, magic portal, new realm, blah blah blah.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Like you said, obvious.

[Shep]
Obvious.

[Thomas]
Right. Obvious.

[Emily]
Alright, for my real pitches, I’ve got a washing machine launders student papers. A student lives in a converted Victorian house and accidentally finds out that the shared washing machine in the basement has magical powers and can change college papers into the best papers ever written. He starts a business laundering other students’ papers. And it’s fantastic until a machine breaks down one day and the property owner sends it to the junkyard and he has to go on a quest to recover the machine to continue his business and up against the massive deadline of the university’s star football player to get his final paper in on time and make sure he can be on next fall’s team.

[Shep]
That’s sounds like a complete story already.

[Emily]
Yeah, it’s pretty good. Put a lot of thought into that one. All right. My next pitch is a washing machine that can repair clothes that are put into it. Someone decides to see if it will repair other things and tosses in his diseased hamster. Think Pet Sematary, but with a washing machine. And now for the obligatory serial killer.

[Shep]
Spoilers.

[Emily]
A serial killer owns a laundromat in a seedy part of town. He uses his washing machine to clean the victims’ clothes and sells them in his vintage shop next door. He disposes of the bodies by turning their flesh into laundry soap and grinds their bones into a fine dust he sells as a refreshing agent. He’s not very smart, but he gets away with it for a lot longer than one would expect.

[Thomas]
That’s fucking dark, man.

[Shep]
I mean, does he also bake the meat into pies?

[Thomas]
Yeah, you’re right.

[Emily]
Well, no, because he’s got to boil it down to render the fat to make the soap.

[Thomas]
He has a whole little strip mall there.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
There’s a vintage shop and the butcher.

[Emily]
Sells sausages.

[Thomas]
Yeah, the cured meats. Yeah. If anyone’s like “It’s a bit smelly,” like “Oh, that’s just from the butcher next door. He’ll throw it out.”

[Emily]
“I render down the fat to make the soap for the laundry.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
That’s some bad zoning.

[Emily]
That’s what I got. Shep, your turn.

[Shep]
Okay. A washing machine affects the clothes put into it and they….

[Thomas]
Come out clean.

[Shep]
Spoilers. Yes. They come out clean. No, they come alive and attack people wearing them. Or they give the wearer superpowers. Or they just disintegrate randomly at some point in the future. Or they become permanently perfect. They can’t be stained or torn.

[Emily]
I want to know what a problem with that would be. I want to generate a problem with them not being able to be torn.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I mean, now they’re stab proof as well, I guess.

[Emily]
Yeah. So I mean, you’ve got your benefits. They’re bulletproof, they’re stab proof.

[Shep]
You can’t have it tailored.

[Emily]
Right. If you lose weight or gain weight.

[Shep]
Right, it’s just stuck. You have to buy whole new clothes.

[Emily]
If they get stuck in the subway door, you’re being dragged along the tracks.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah.

[Emily]
If a sexy woman approaches you and wants to just rip the buttons off of your shirt and take you right then there, she can’t.

[Shep]
No, that’s sexual harassment. Also, the buttons wouldn’t tear off. Okay. How about a new type of washing machine that “cleans” clothes by moving them back in time to when they were newer? Though this, I think, would possibly lead to putting things in a washing machine that aren’t clothes, which I’m wary of, as I’ve already mentioned.

[Thomas]
Right. Somebody would presumably try to use it as a time machine or bring their dead hamster back to life.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
You’re right.

[Shep]
That’s it for me.

[Thomas]
Do we have one that we like that is not going to be dangerous?

[Shep]
I mean, I like the rom-com one because I like rom-com ones.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But is it about the washing machine or is that just the meet-cute?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Why would they still be going to the washing machine? How about an already married couple has their own laundromat, and then they have to go and file their taxes and then everything everywhere, all at once goes wrong.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I could see that. I think that might make a good movie.

[Emily]
That might be really good.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah. Get like, A24 to make it. Yeah.

[Thomas]
They do good work.

[Shep]
They do good work.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
It could center around a laundromat.

[Shep]
But then is it laundromat as the prompt or is it washing machine?

[Thomas]
Maybe there’s a particular washing machine that they both feel is like their lucky washing machine for some reason.

[Emily]
Maybe it is in the apartment complex and there are several machines in the basement, but only one ever works.

[Thomas]
Or there’s one that they both have noticed works better than the others. Like, you get more for your $0.50 that you put in there.

[Shep]
We just did a rom-com, though.

[Thomas]
We did. That’s my only hesitation with it is that we did literally just, that’s our last episode, our previous episode.

[Emily]
But you know, all rom-coms are like snowflakes. They’re unique in their own way.

[Shep]
They’re like snowflakes in that if you see a bunch of them, they all kind of basically look the same.

[Thomas]
Okay, so our choices of the rom-com, the washing machine that changes papers, the serial killer, and then the washing machine that grants clothes special powers or some sort of effect. I could see it would be interesting if there was one machine in the laundromat that does that and the owner discovers this property that it has and starts advertising that and so there’s a line out the door, but everyone only wants to use the one machine, so maybe his business starts suffering because people aren’t washing their clothes in the other machines. Nobody wants to. He thought, “Oh, this will be a great thing that’s going to bring people in. I’ll get a lot of business,” but actually things get worse for him. And then of course, there are going to be people who try to steal it. The government maybe wants to commandeer it.

[Shep]
Right. This is a tough one.

[Emily]
This is a tough one.

[Thomas]
Coming up with the prompts was a tough one for me.

[Emily]
It was. It was a hard one.

[Shep]
I have more questions about the washing machine that launders papers for a student by improving them.

[Emily]
Ask away. I actually have lots of ideas on this.

[Shep]
This is again putting stuff, non-laundry stuff in a washing machine, but.

[Thomas]
But at least it’s just papers and.

[Emily]
But it’s just paper.

[Shep]
It is improving their paper.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
What else could it improve?

[Emily]
That’s an excellent question.

[Shep]
Could you write a political speech and then have it improved? Could you put designs for house in there and have them be improved in some way?

[Thomas]
Plate of food.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
In fact it would be very funny if there’s a scene where they like, “Oh, maybe it’ll make my cooking not terrible.” They put it in there and it comes out and they’re like, “No, I just made a mess.”

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
“Now we’ve got to clean the washing machine.”

[Emily]
That would be really funny if they did that.

[Shep]
You don’t explain it, you just show them cleaning the washing machine later.

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah. And glaring at the guy… “Spaghetti, huh?” Noodles like half hanging out of the holes in the drum.

[Shep]
That’s going to be hard to clean.

[Thomas]
What if it’s not about one specific machine? It’s about a washing machine repairman who goes around giving people’s washing machines special abilities.

[Emily]
Does he repair it and then send them back to the 1950s in the black and white?

[Thomas]
And then when someone has sex on top of it, they turn to color.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Is that what you are getting at?

[Shep]
How about, is it too late to add new pitches?

[Thomas]
No.

[Emily]
I think we could do on-the-fly pitch session.

[Shep]
Here’s an on-the-fly pitch. All washing machines stop cleaning clothes. You still put clothes in and soap and turn them on and they run. And when they come out, your clothes are still dirty.

[Thomas]
Are they wet and soapy?

[Shep]
They’re wet, they’re not soapy because they rinsed off, but they’re just still dirty. They didn’t get clean. And this happens everywhere for everyone, all at once. And now you have this class divide because people that can afford it just buy new clothes for every outfit and people that can’t, don’t. They re-wear the same clothes. And then you have the people in the middle that are buying the worn once clothes from the richer people because they’ve only been worn once.

[Emily]
Why wouldn’t anyone just hand wash their clothes?

[Shep]
You try to hand wash, it doesn’t come clean.

[Emily]
Okay, so no laundry can come clean.

[Shep]
No laundry can come clean. Soap still works. You can take a shower.

[Thomas]
Just doesn’t work on clothes.

[Shep]
Just doesn’t work on clothes.

[Thomas]
Is this about the washing machine, though?

[Shep]
No more follow up questions from Thomas.

[Thomas]
Oh, I see. He can dish it out, but he can’t take it.

[Shep]
Yeah, I guess it’s about classism and eat the rich, I guess.

[Thomas]
It can be about that.

[Emily]
It could still be about that. You just have to prominently feature a washing machine. Maybe one person has one washing machine that works and the rich are…

[Shep]
The government swoops in and takes it apart and studies it. This is hard. The problem is and I hesitate to say this and put the whammy on us, I’m getting whiteboard vibes again.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
When none of these pitches jump out at me, where I go, “This one, this is the one.” Even the rom-com. And I love rom-coms.

[Thomas]
It’s a rom-com…

[Shep]
Okay. You have me at rom-com.

[Thomas]
So I don’t know how it happens. Maybe they’re, like, fighting over the machine. They’re in the laundromat and the washing machine teleports them to a desert island. Or not a desert island, necessarily, but an uninhabited island.

[Shep]
A deserted island.

[Thomas]
Yes, a deserted island. And now it’s the two of them and a washing machine on an island. They don’t know where they are. They have to survive together. They both blame the other person for causing this to happen.

[Shep]
I’m 100% on board.

[Emily]
I like this. So-

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
I have so many questions.

[Emily]
I can see how they get transported. They both reach for the dial. They’re fighting over the soap. Do a very _Freaky Friday-_esque they’re fighting over the soap. They bump a button and lightning strikes at that exact moment and boom. They’re on a deserted island.

[Thomas]
They’re fighting over the soap, and it falls down into some spot it’s not supposed to be, and it goes into the coin thing, and that causes a short circuit.

[Shep]
Yeah. I’ve seen movies in the 1980s.

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah.

[Shep]
I can picture this whole opening. Because it’s the last unused washing machine in the laundromat and they both have something important to do, to get to. So they’re physically fighting over the machine.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So the machine gets all charged up and they both reach out and grab the knob at the same time, and then, boom. They’re just like on this island, and they’re looking around like, “What?”

[Shep]
This is great. Let’s do this one.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
I’m already going. So when they’re on the island, is the washing machine still powered?

[Thomas]
I would say no.

[Shep]
See, I would have said yes, because then you have an opportunity for one of them to show their worth or their value by somehow tapping into the electricity that’s somehow still working in this washing machine and then using it to make their lives better.

[Emily]
Yeah, I was thinking it would because then somehow they could steam a fish.

[Thomas]
Because then we’re putting things in the washing machine and we’re trying to avoid that.

[Shep]
That’s not laundry. Yeah, we don’t do that.

[Emily]
But it’s on a deserted island. How is she going to cook the fish?

[Shep]
No, you have one of them wearing glasses like a nerd, and then they can use the glasses to start a fire.

[Emily]
Oh fine.

[Thomas]
No, you use the glass on the door of the washing machine. You angle it just right.

[Shep]
Okay, that’s better.

[Emily]
Smart. Smart.

[Shep]
And it keeps the washing machine a central part of it. See, that’s another reason why I’d like them to have the electricity in the washing machine that they can tap into, because then they build their little island civilization around the washing machine.

[Thomas]
I guess my thinking was that if the washing machine has to be powered to teleport them, then their goal is to restore power. So how do they do that?

[Shep]
I mean, that’s a much bigger lift.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
It is you’re right.

[Shep]
If they got there by magic rather than a wacky scientist invention that disguised their teleporter as a washing machine, for some reason.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s a good point.

[Shep]
I don’t want it to be a reason that they got teleported. I want there to be no explanation.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Emily]
It just got teleported.

[Shep]
Magical reality. They were in the laundromat and now they’re on a deserted island all by themselves.

[Thomas]
So here’s a question. Do they ever make it back to civilization?

[Shep]
Would that be the happy ending or not? Okay, it has to be. It has to be because they each had something important, some timed thing that they had to get to, and then they’re on the deserted island for who knows how long.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But a significant amount of time.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Obviously because it’s rom-com, they grow close during that time where they have no one else to talk to, but they get back to civilization and go to resume their lives. But would they be happy resuming their lives?

[Thomas]
Of course not. Because it’s a rom-com.

[Shep]
Of course not.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
Because it’s a rom-com. Yeah, exactly.

[Emily]
Well, I think one had an interview for a job.

[Thomas]
Their dream job.

[Emily]
Obviously.

[Thomas]
Maybe one of them was like best man or maid of honor or something.

[Emily]
Yeah. They could be late for a rehearsal dinner. It’s not a big deal if they don’t show up at first and they would stop by a laundry map to fix themselves up. But they aren’t one of the two people getting married. It’s his brother’s wedding, her sister’s wedding, or something like that.

[Shep]
So why are these two people single if they’re presumably movie attractive? What is the reason that they are not in a relationship?

[Emily]
One lacks ambition, the other is a workaholic.

[Thomas]
Man, that would be some great tension on the island where one of them is like building the hut and the other one’s like, “Cool, they’ve got that on lock,” and it’s like, “Dude, you’ve got to help.”

[Shep]
What if one of them is just really shy? Like they’re just not good with people, they can’t handle- Well, then why did they get in the big fight at the beginning?

[Thomas]
I was just going to say.

[Emily]
She just came back from a therapy session where her psychologist had been like, “You need to assert yourself more.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
So she did.

[Shep]
That’s great, because the first time… it has to be the her that’s the one that’s not assertive?

[Emily]
No, it could be him. It could totally be him.

[Shep]
It could go either way, I don’t care. But the first time that they assert themselves, they somehow get teleported to a deserted island. Would that be necessarily a bad thing? If they don’t like being around people? Well, guess what? They got their wish. Did they wish that they weren’t around anyone? Do they blame themselves for getting teleported to this island? Because they’re having this big confrontation and they don’t like confrontation and they wished that they were alone and the next thing they know they’re on this island and this other person just sort of got caught up in that.

[Thomas]
But I don’t think they make the wish right at that moment. I think it’s a thing that happens earlier.

[Shep]
I’m not saying that the wish is why it happened.

[Emily]
No, but that’s what he thinks.

[Shep]
But they blame themselves.

[Thomas]
As does other person who doesn’t know about the wish.

[Emily]
No, I think the other person totally blames- Oh, you mean the other person blames the wisher.

[Thomas]
Right. Everybody blames one person and it’s the same person is what I’m saying.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But see, if you don’t like being around people, then being on an island with only one other person is not the worst situation. It’s not great that you’re fighting with the other person.

[Thomas]
Well, I think the person who doesn’t like being around people is like, “Actually, this isn’t that bad. I have no interest in leaving.” And the other person is like, “Dude, it’s my sister’s wedding in three days. We’re getting off this goddamn island.”

[Emily]
I think that would build tension, where the one person is like “I mean, it’s like a nice vacation and there’s no one around. We can be alone with our thoughts.”

[Shep]
I think at first that might be how they feel.

[Emily]
Yeah. At first. So the introverted person is a little bit happy and kind of relieved at first. Very “This isn’t that bad.” And the other person is not necessarily extroverted, but high strung, maybe? Or feels a lot of family pressure to be at that wedding.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Are they the one that has the wedding? Because if the introverted person is the one that has to go to the wedding, normally they wouldn’t go out in public at all, and they don’t even want to go to the wedding, but they’re forced into it by their family. That’s why they’re at therapy earlier.

[Thomas]
Maybe it shouldn’t be a wedding then. It should be something that they could say no to, and that the therapist is trying to get them to “Well you should assert yourself. And if you really don’t want to go to this, I mean, you shouldn’t have to go to it. You shouldn’t feel like you need to.” And so then when the laundry thing happens, they think, “Oh, this is an opportunity to get that practice to confront my mom later.”

[Shep]
Right. So it is the woman. Is that what you’re saying?

[Thomas]
Or whoever. It could be either one of them. I was also thinking, if the woman is going to her sister’s wedding, it could be-

[Shep]
(gasp) It’s her younger sister. So she’s going to get a lot of family pressure. Why isn’t she in a relationship? Why isn’t she…? You know, she doesn’t like people. I’m sorry, Thomas. I interrupted. What were you going to say?

[Thomas]
I was going to say that maybe they had had a falling out a while back and just recently patched things up. And so missing this very important event will bring back all of this strife in their relationship, that it will be viewed as a re-falling out? As a negative act or hostile toward their relationship.

[Shep]
This brings up so much stuff. Like maybe she has disappeared from society, basically. But her younger sister is getting married, and so she wants to be part of her younger sister’s life, but also doesn’t want to go out and interact with people. But her family is afraid that she’ll just disappear again, and she literally does. But are they even going to know what happened?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
If she just doesn’t talk to them and doesn’t show up, are they going to assume that she intentionally is cutting them out? Or were there witnesses? There must have been other people in the laundromat if all the machines were being used.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s true. But that, all they saw is the machine and two people disappeared. Don’t know where they went.

[Emily]
Did they? Are they in a spot in the laundromat where they would see that?

[Thomas]
It wouldn’t surprise me if everybody was on their phone.

[Emily]
Right. That’s what I’m thinking.

[Thomas]
So, like, one person turns around after it happens and they see, like, the empty spot. “Well, weird,” go back to their phone, take a picture of it, put it on Instagram.

[Shep]
“I think someone stole that washing machine.”

[Thomas]
There’s just water pouring out of the wall.

[Shep]
Okay, so we have the shy, introverted woman. Tell me more about the guy.

[Thomas]
Is he a type-A person?

[Shep]
I’d say he is a type to get things done as quickly as he can. That’s why he wanted to get his laundry done.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Is he, like, a workaholic kind of person? So he’s like, “Okay, here are the things we got to do. We’ve got to build a shelter. We’ve got to find water. We’ve got to figure out how we’re going to eat. We need to build a fire.” He has this whole list of things that he wants to get done, and he just starts going.

[Shep]
That’s great, because she doesn’t know him. And now there’s all this pressure that he’s, like, saying, we need to do this and this and this. And she’s like, “Whoa, you’re not my supervisor. I don’t know you.”

[Thomas]
I think it would be beneficial to the story if they disagree about what to do first.

[Emily]
What would she want to do first?

[Thomas]
Figure out where the hell they are. She’s concerned about… is she concerned about getting back?

[Emily]
I think naturally she would be concerned about getting back because she just freaking transported to an island somewhere and she’s just like, “What the fuck?”

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. Maybe. He’s not even questioning what’s going on or how they got there. He’s just like, “Well, here we are. We need to start doing this stuff.”

[Shep]
Right. He starts running through Maslow’s hierarchy-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And she’s like, “Uh, let’s see if we can get a phone signal first, Robinson Crusoe.”

[Emily]
Right. Yeah. He’s like, “We got to get a fire going because when that sun goes down, it’s going to be cold.” And she’s like, “How do you know? We could be in the caribbean.”

[Shep]
Would they have an idea of where they were based on the time of day, the angle of the sun?

[Thomas]
I feel like that’s knowledge that would be fairly specialized.

[Shep]
I mean, if you have a watch, which people do, then you know what time it is or was, where you were.

[Thomas]
But what would that tell the average person? Okay, it’s a different time of day. We’re somewhere else in the world than we were. But that much is obvious looking around, because I wasn’t near the ocean.

[Shep]
But you’ll know what time it was, and you can figure out what time it is.

[Thomas]
Roughly, sure.

[Shep]
Not immediately, but eventually. So you know how far you’ve gone east or west.

[Thomas]
Cool. What does that do for them?

[Shep]
It gives them a location or a rough idea.

[Thomas]
So they know their exact GPS coordinates. What the fuck do they do with that, though? It’s not helpful information.

[Shep]
If they can contact someone, that would be very helpful information.

[Thomas]
But they can’t.

[Shep]
Well-

[Thomas]
That’s why they’re stuck.

[Shep]
That’s the next thing to work on, is tap into the electricity in that washing machine that’s somehow still powered.

[Thomas]
Yet. Does it fill with water and everything?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Why not? It’s magic… They got transported to a deserted island.

[Emily]
No, I like this idea.

[Thomas]
So do they use that for fresh water? That’s their fresh water source and their power source.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, so smart. Okay. I want to be on an island with you.

[Thomas]
All right, well, let’s take a quick break. And during the break, we’ll figure out the one movie we would take with us through a desert island.

[Shep]
What are we going to play it on?

[Emily]
The washing machine.

[Shep]
All right.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we’re back. So they’re on the island. They have the washing machine, which gives them fresh water and electricity.

[Shep]
And also they can keep their clothes clean.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Which is nice.

[Shep]
You don’t have to explain why they’re still wearing roughly clean clothes an hour into the movie.

[Thomas]
So presumably they build a hut around the washing machine.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Do they move the washing machine somewhere else?

[Emily]
I think they attempt to but it’s from the 1970, so it weighs a million pounds.

[Thomas]
And it’s like partly in sand, so you’re not dragging that.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I’m just picturing the scene of the guy trying to move it, and he’s like, “Is this bolted down? Why is it so heavy?”

[Thomas]
Okay, so they build a hut around it.

[Shep]
What else is on the island?

[Thomas]
There have to be some sort of supplies for them to take advantage of the fact that there’s electricity. If he can tap into the electricity, he could use it to power something. But he would need wires. He would need other stuff.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Do they find an old outpost of some sort? Some old military post? So there’s like a shack on there with an old radio or something, but it’s all corroded-

[Thomas]
It’s all in Cyrillic, so they don’t know what any of it means. They can’t read any of it.

[Emily]
Or something.

[Shep]
I like that. It wouldn’t even necessarily need to be like a military outpost. It could be like a weather station. Could be-

[Emily]
Yeah. Or a scientific outpost for whale watching or something.

[Shep]
Just some something, but it’s not a structure that they can use.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
There’s no roof.

[Emily]
Right. But there’s some supplies that were left behind.

[Thomas]
Well, they have to be something that, with wiring that they can take apart and use the wiring.

[Emily]
A hot plate.

[Thomas]
That’s a good idea. We probably want a light source.

[Shep]
Right. One small light source. Not a light bulb light, but like a small light on a radio or something like that, that they could use as a very localized source of light. So if they both wanted to use it, they’d have to be close together.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, that’s good.

[Emily]
And a book.

[Shep]
In Cyrillic.

[Emily]
A really boring book in Cyrillic.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
She sits down to read at night by the light, and he’s trying to build something, and she’s like, “Well, I’m reading. You can use the light later.” And he’s like, “Can you read that?” “Well, no, but I’m going to figure it out.”

[Thomas]
“What else am I going to do?” All right, what do they eat? Fish?

[Emily]
Fish, vegetation.

[Thomas]
Coconuts. Yeah.

[Shep]
There’s a bunch of fruit trees.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
I’d like it if the fruit trees weren’t native to the area. Like it’s something that whoever put the science outpost here had tried to plant a grove of whatever trees. Did they grow in the area, or are they barely holding on?

[Thomas]
Do we want basic survival to be an issue for them?

[Shep]
Well, it’s a deserted island. That’s half the fun of deserted island fantasy, is figuring out basic survival, at least at the beginning.

[Thomas]
Okay, so then the trees or the plants, it should be something that grows more rapidly than a tree. So the plants are there, but they’re not doing hot. So they have to cultivate this area and get the plants back to life so they can grow more of it so that they don’t have to worry about the food.

[Shep]
So maybe the plants weren’t struggling because of the climate, but because no one was there to maintain it. And the local vegetation had encroached in the area, and it’s choking them out. They need to go and clear out all of that, weeds, basically.

[Thomas]
Yeah. There’s vines and weeds and all sorts of junk. So if they just clear that out of there, the plants will come back, do better.

[Shep]
How long are they on the island?

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s something we should figure out because I feel like that’s going to be really important to the story.

[Emily]
It will be.

[Shep]
When they go back. It’s the same moment they left. Now they have the option of literally just resuming their lives as if nothing had changed.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So they spend two years, five years, whatever it is, on the island.

[Shep]
Oh, they have a fight. They have a fight by the washing machine, just like they had that fight on the first day, and somehow it triggers again, and they’re teleported back to the moment they left, which they realize immediately because their clothes are the same as before they left. They’ve lost their tan.

[Thomas]
So they don’t have any of those changes?

[Emily]
Yeah. It’s all just in the brain.

[Shep]
Yeah. They have the memories of it. Because it’s a rom-com, so they can’t get together right away when they go back.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So why would they go their separate ways? Because they think they imagined it. They’ve each still got that important thing that night to get to.

[Thomas]
One of them wasn’t there alone at the laundromat. The guy has a girlfriend who went to go get soap or something like that.

[Shep]
No, stop putting couples-

[Thomas]
Or there’s, like, a friend or there’s somebody.

[Shep]
Okay. A friend.

[Thomas]
Who was there and then comes back over and is like, “Hey, are we good? Can we go now?”

[Shep]
Oh, he asked his friend to get him something from the vending machine, and then they’re back in the laundromat, and his friend shows up, and he’s like, “Well, they only had diet Pepsi” or whatever. “Is diet Pepsi okay?” No! …Unless they’re sponsoring the movie. Then you don’t say that. But otherwise, no.

[Thomas]
So they have that moment of like, “Oh, what? Did I just imagine all that?” Maybe they get electrocuted slightly, and so they think, like, “Oh, that zap must have caused something in my brain.” And they both are sort of looking at each other, but neither one wants to say it because that sounds insane. “Hey, do you remember the five years we just spent on a desert island? No? Oh, just me?”

[Shep]
Right. She might be crazy.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Yeah. In fact, you could have a scene with her in therapy talking about this fantasy she had at the laundromat.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So I’m assuming she’s the main character that we’re following because we saw her beforehand, and we saw her after.

[Emily]
He’s just eye candy.

[Thomas]
So then it’s not his friend. It’s her sister. Her sister comes back like, “Hey, we got to get going. We got to make it to the whatever by two, so…”

[Shep]
“So throw your clothes in the washer, and let’s get out of here.” Are they still fighting over the last washing machine.

[Thomas]
That’s a good point. Maybe I guess they don’t have to leave.

[Emily]
Well, maybe she could be like, “We don’t actually have time for this. Let him have the machine. Let’s just go.”

[Shep]
Why did they go to the laundromat if they didn’t have time?

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah.

[Emily]
I don’t know.

[Thomas]
No, I think it’s a good point. She does leave. It’s her who leaves, but it’s his friend who comes up and sort of breaks the spell.

[Shep]
It’s her, it’s who who leaves? Leaves? They leave before…?

[Thomas]
They leave the laundromat.

[Shep]
I thought that the friend came back while they were still standing there.

[Thomas]
Right. They’re standing there looking at each other, like, “Did that just happen?”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
They’re having that locked eyes moment of, like, “Wait, do I say something? That would be crazy, though. I’m crazy, right?” And then the friend comes up, and he’s like, “They only had diet.” And that’s when they break eyes. He looks over at the friend and like, “Yeah, that’s fine, whatever.” And then he looks back, and she’s running out the door. And then we follow her from that point.

[Shep]
Because yeah. She wouldn’t want to be there with all the noise and the people.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
That’s great, because how would they contact each other if they go their separate ways right now? It’s not like they exchanged phone numbers while they were on the island.

[Thomas]
So they have to have had a conversation on the island once they’ve sort of started becoming friends, getting to know you type of conversation.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
“My favorite restaurant was (this).” They start learning about each other, so they know where to look.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
“My sister’s getting married at the Plaza Hotel or wherever in three days,” and so he knows “I know where to find her.”

[Emily]
Had they kissed on the island or had any sort of intimacy?

[Thomas]
I mean, it’s got to be close if it doesn’t actually happen.

[Emily]
Do we want to save the kiss for the end? Or do they kiss just before the fight? Do they have kissed and then fight?

[Shep]
How long are they on the island together? Just the two of them?

[Emily]
That’s a good question, because that would make a difference in this answer, wouldn’t it?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Six months, they might not have kissed yet.

[Shep]
Right. Five years-

[Emily]
Five years, they’ve got a three-year-old.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Absolutely.

[Shep]
That’s a very good point.

[Thomas]
It’s like six months to a year, somewhere in that range.

[Shep]
Let’s say it’s exactly one year.

[Thomas]
Okay. Do they have a fight? And if so, what do they fight about? What’s the impetus?

[Shep]
Maybe they’re talking about continuing to try to find their way off the island or stay on the island. Like, maybe one of them is happy on the island and one of them is not because it’s coming up on a year of their time there. I don’t know. Is that something worth fighting over?

[Thomas]
That’s why I ask. Is it even a fight?

[Emily]
It’s a tickle fight, and-

[Thomas]
Is it too coincidental that it’s exactly one year, or because we’re dealing with magic that’s excusable?

[Emily]
Because we’re dealing with magic it’s excusable, I believe.

[Thomas]
Somehow the conditions have to be recreated, right?

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
It’s What Women Want All over again.

[Emily]
The date needs to be the same. Time needs to be the same.

[Thomas]
Right. The same coincidental series of events happens because magic.

[Emily]
Well, it needs to be the fight because it needs to be the low point.

[Shep]
Oh, no, it’s not a fight. It’s the opposite of a fight.

[Thomas]
Oh, my god. Yes.

[Shep]
The first scene where they’re fighting over the washer, she jumps on top of the washer and is sitting on the lid to keep it closed so he can’t put his clothes in and he’s trying to get her off. And that’s when they’re shocked.

[Thomas]
He reaches over to grab the knob, and she grabs his hand to pull it off. They both get shocked, and as they pull back, that’s when they see they’re on the island and they’re looking around. So, yeah. Now, a year later, their hands are all over each other.

[Emily]
She’s on top of the washer. They’re making out. He’s trying to get her off.

[Thomas]
Are they making out?

[Shep]
I imagine she was sitting on the washer just to be sitting there, and he’s moving in for a kiss, and then they’re both shocked again.

[Thomas]
Right. So they haven’t kissed yet. They were about to.

[Shep]
This was going to be the kiss.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And then suddenly they’re back.

[Shep]
Man, this would be where you have that sponsor, because whatever soda the guy is bringing back is going to be the best soda because he hasn’t had any soda in a year or any cold drink.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
It’s a diet Dr. Pepper.

[Shep]
Tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper. That’s also why she runs out, because she had what she thinks is this wildly inappropriate fantasy about this guy.

[Thomas]
About a complete stranger.

[Shep]
About a complete stranger.

[Emily]
Yeah, that all tracks.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I like it.

[Thomas]
I like it.

[Shep]
It’s important. It’s vital that she runs out immediately, because otherwise, as soon as they say the other’s name, they’ll know that it wasn’t imaginary.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So she’s got to get out of there instantaneously. That’s why the friend showing up and giving him the soda distracts him, and she books it right then. The timing is so good.

[Thomas]
So is that the end of the second act? Is that the lowest low is they’ve come back and not had that intimacy?

[Emily]
Yeah, I think it’s the lowest low, don’t you?

[Thomas]
Because then the third act is finding the other person and getting that relationship to happen.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Who’s trying to find who? Because if she’s going to the wedding and he knows that, then we should be following him, not her.

[Shep]
He’s trying to find her, but she thinks that she imagined the whole thing.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
She thinks she’s finally snapped and gone insane.

[Shep]
Right. So when she sees him in places, she ignores him.

[Emily]
Or does whatever she can to avoid him.

[Thomas]
Or is not going places because she thinks she’s-

[Shep]
Going crazy.

[Thomas]
Going crazy. She’s afraid that she might run into him.

[Emily]
What if he does go to look for her? Like he doesn’t do the wedding thing? Because that’s too-

[Shep]
I mean, he could wait at the laundromat thinking that she might come back.

[Emily]
Yeah, but I think she should see him somewhere that she mentioned she frequented.

[Shep]
Does she frequent places?

[Emily]
I don’t know.

[Thomas]
But it means she has, like, a favorite pizzeria. Maybe he’s hanging out outside the pizzeria and she sees him.

[Emily]
She likes the library.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
She needs to restock her romance novels.

[Shep]
I like the library one.

[Emily]
She sees him, because he goes to kind of- he’s like, “Well, she likes reading.”

[Shep]
No, it’s got to be a specific library.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She talks about this one table that she sits at. It’s super quiet. Nobody comes to that section. That’s why she’s reading some weird books, because those are the books that are just in that part of the library.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
They’re having a conversation about what they miss. And she’s talking about her table at the library, at the Whatever branch library.

[Emily]
Perfect.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And he’s like, “You miss a table?” And she’s like, “You don’t understand.”

[Shep]
It’s great-

[Thomas]
And explains why.

[Shep]
Because when they have their final meeting there, they’re being too loud for a library and keep getting shushed.

[Emily]
Because I was thinking she would go there to have her moment, and she sees him because he’s kind of wandering around trying to find which table is this table.

[Thomas]
Or he could just be sitting not too far into the entrance. So she walks in and sees him and books it out of there. Where do they have their final moment and their big kiss?

[Emily]
Do we want that in the library? And have him show up at the wedding and her be like-

[Thomas]
I think it would be very funny to have them go to the wedding and the family is like, “You have a boyfriend? Like, wow, this is great. Let’s meet him.”

[Shep]
“How long have you guys been together?” “About a year.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yes, I do like that.

[Thomas]
Very good. That’s very good. So it can’t be just a few days later. The wedding has to be, like, a month later or something like that, because we need enough time for him to give up or for her to feel like it’s safe to go back to the library or something like that.

[Shep]
Okay, so she wasn’t in a hurry at the beginning. He was in a hurry. She was just trying to be assertive like her therapist told her.

[Thomas]
Right. Because she could do her laundry any old time.

[Shep]
Right. But it’s not about that. It’s about she was here first.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
She was here first. This is hers. Don’t blame her because you manage your time poorly. Everybody’s got something.

[Thomas]
Is that enough for this story? I mean, obviously there are lots of details that are missing, but.

[Shep]
There’s so many more things we could go into there. See, I want to explore more of their relationship. I want to explore more of their life on the island. What else is on the island.

[Thomas]
Yeah, because I think the area of the story we’ve explored the least.

[Shep]
Yeah. And that’s I think a bulk of the movie is their life on the island.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
A good two-thirds of the movie is going to be them on the island.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s true. Okay, well, let’s look at that a bit.

[Emily]
We’ve got that they’ve stumbled in and found this weird little store of things from some scientific expedition.

[Thomas]
When does that happen? Is that early or is that later?

[Shep]
Well, how big is the island?

[Thomas]
That’s a good question.

[Shep]
I mean, they are exploring it at some point.

[Thomas]
Big enough not to have seen this shed thing right away.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Right away. It’s in the thicket.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Well, I figured it would be up, like, if they were a mountain or something, that you’d want the place high for, like a radio tower for reporting readings or whatever they’re doing.

[Emily]
Yeah. We don’t care what the shack was for, really.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
City girl survival is taught, when you’re lost, you stay in the same spot because it’s easier to be found. You don’t move.

[Thomas]
And he’s like “But it’s an island. The island is the spot where we’re staying.”

[Emily]
“But if we leave here, someone’s going to come and they’re going to think this is empty. They’re just going to find a weird washing machine and they’re going to move on, and they won’t know we’re here.”

[Thomas]
“But when we climb the mountain, the only way they can come, we will see them. In fact, we’ll see them sooner if we climb the mountain, and then we can come back down to the beach.”

[Emily]
“But they might be gone before we get back down to the beach.”

[Shep]
This is great. Paranoid girl perspective.

[Thomas]
He’s like, “Okay, well, I’m going to go up the mountain.”

[Emily]
“Well, you can’t leave me here alone.”

[Thomas]
That’s like that classic rom-com thing where he goes like, “Okay, fine, well, I’m going to go.” And then she’s storming down the beach behind him, like all “(Grumbles)” But I don’t imagine it’s like a huge mountain or anything.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
No, it’s not mountain mountain. It’s like a hill.

[Thomas]
They could get there in an hour or so. Hour or two? Yeah, I think they could probably walk all the way around the island in a couple hours.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Two, three, four hours, something like that. So decently sized, but not enormous.

[Shep]
Yeah. Big enough to be able to provide for them, at least for a year.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
They’re explore the islands. They find the rundown shack. Is it just the shack? Well, see, if it’s a scientific outpost, there must be a place to live. That’s where they find the hot plate.

[Thomas]
Right. There should be either a generator that just is rusted out and doesn’t work and there’s no fuel for it anyway, or there’s like, clearly this is where a battery was and it’s not there anymore. Whatever was powering all this stuff is gone.

[Shep]
I would love there to be a generator that he is like, “Okay, if we get this running, we’ll have electricity.” This is early on. They haven’t figured out that the washing machine is still charged. So he lugs it all the way back to their starting point, which she insists they go back to because that’s where they might be found. So they’re not going back because they have resources there yet that they know of.

[Thomas]
Right. And so maybe his rationale is, because he needs her help to lug this thing down. And his rationale is “The washing machine got us here. If we can power it up, the washing machine might get us back.”

[Shep]
Oh, it’s still coin operated.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
They have to pick the lock to get the old coins out to reuse it.

[Thomas]
That’s great. Do they lug the generator all the way back or does something happen to it along the way?

[Shep]
No, they lug it all the way back and it was totally pointless. It doesn’t work at all. It’s completely rusted out; it’s got no usable parts and no fuel to run it even if it was working.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
It just could be a source of conflict for them.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
I do like a scene. This sort of ruins that scene, though, where they’re fighting and they’re like yelling and pointing and whatever, and then all of a sudden the washing machine goes like, ding, ding, ding, ding ding ding. And they both turn and look at it and realize, wait a minute. But it wouldn’t just randomly ding.

[Shep]
How do they find out?

[Thomas]
Oh, would the washing machine have a tiny light inside of it?

[Shep]
Do washing machines have lights inside them?

[Thomas]
Newer ones sometimes do.

[Emily]
Yeah. My front loader does. Yeah.

[Thomas]
But this industrial one from the 70s won’t, almost certainly.

[Shep]
Oh, does it have a light on, like, the coin display?

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
How much change you’ve put in.

[Emily]
“More change needed” or something.

[Shep]
They wouldn’t notice it immediately in the daytime, but that night they’ll see it.

[Thomas]
Right. It’s got a coin counter.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
And so part of that initial struggle is he’s trying to jam coins into the thing to be like, “Oh, my coins are already in there.” And she’s trying to sit on it like, “No, you can’t get your stuff in there.” He’s like, “No, I’ve already put my coins in there.” And so if he gets one of two quarters in the machine. And so it says one. We see it like, there’s a close up shot, zero to one. And then that night, there’s this weird red glow. They’re like, “What is that?” And they look up and they see the number one is still illuminated. And maybe he has a second quarter in his pocket still.

[Shep]
That’s great.

[Thomas]
He puts it in, it clicks to two, and then the machine comes on and they’re like-

[Shep]
“What the-“

[Thomas]
“What the hell?”

[Shep]
It makes as much sense as anything else. I love it.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But if that’s the first night, then that would be before they found the generator.

[Thomas]
Unless they’re teleported there and it’s morning. It’s early in the day. They have all day to explore the island.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because he is ready to go right away. And she’s like, “Uh, no?”

[Thomas]
Yeah, they both don’t want to be there with that person. They don’t want to be in this situation. As we established, she doesn’t like people. She doesn’t want to be around, stuck with him. She doesn’t like him. They’ve just had a big fight, so that’s awkward. And he doesn’t want to be there because he was kind of in a hurry. He was trying to get his laundry done quickly so he could go do whatever. So they both have a compelling reason to not want to be on the island, so they don’t notice the machine. They’re kind of ignoring the machine at first. And maybe you can even sort of see there’s a structure on top of the hill. And he’s like, “Look, there’s something up there.”

[Shep]
“Maybe there’s people!”

[Thomas]
Yeah, “Maybe there’s people. Let’s go up there.” So they immediately head up there, but it’s clearly all rusted out and abandoned. But there’s the generator, so it’s like, “Well, the machine brought us here. The machine can take us back. Let’s bring this thing down.”

[Shep]
“So we can power the washing machine.”

[Thomas]
And maybe even she pointed out, like, they get it back down to the beach. And that’s when he finally stops to think about it. And he’s like “Huh.” She’s like, “How are you planning to power this thing anyways?” “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead.” And so, yeah, then later they’re just sitting there with their backs against the machine like, “Oh, my God, this sucks.” And then it’s become night. And they notice the light.

[Emily]
Yeah. I like it.

[Thomas]
And then the next day, one of them has to sort of like, face reality, essentially, and be like, “Look, as far as we can tell, we’re stuck here. Who knows how long we’re going to be here? We need to start taking care of some basic needs, like shelter and food and water.” And then maybe one of them points out, like, “Well, the machine gave us water before, last night when we turned it on.”

[Emily]
Right. Yeah.

[Shep]
She should be the one to point out that there’s drinkable water in the machine because he is in a survival mindset. He’s like, “Okay, if we can find some plastic, we can make a solar still.”

[Thomas]
Right. And so perhaps they go back up to the- because they recognize they need to pick that lock. So they go back up to the shed, find some stuff to use to pick the lock or break it open or whatever.

[Shep]
An old toolbox.

[Thomas]
Right. So they solve that problem fairly early. So they have water, but that’s about it for now. But they need shelter, so they do still have to take care of that. Maybe there’s a saw that they can use, or an axe.

[Shep]
I’m saying toolbox.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Just say this, then.

[Emily]
There’s a toolbox.

[Shep]
You got everything.

[Thomas]
The tools they need are there.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So they build the structure, and… Is she good at gardening? Does she have a garden or maybe like a little balcony garden that she uses as like a relaxation thing.

[Emily]
Of course.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah, because there’s no other people involved in gardening.

[Thomas]
Right. So she knows, she maybe spots those plants, like, “Wait a minute, this is like a cultivated area.”

[Emily]
And that’s the section of the library she likes the most, because it’s the quietest, because they live in a city and nobody goes to the gardening books.

[Thomas]
Right. Because if we’ve established that he’s got basic survival skills, at any rate, we want her to be able to pull her weight as well and have valuable skills of her own. So is that sort of the first montage is it takes a couple of days, but they’re getting their basic needs sorted. And we have to see them starting to agree on things and work together and not be mad at each other quite as much.

[Shep]
I mean, you got to have some obvious disagreements, right at the beginning.

[Thomas]
Maybe he’s building like, one big shed around the washing machine and she’s like, “I’m not sleeping in the same room as you.”

[Shep]
Right. “This isn’t college.”

[Thomas]
Right. So once they have their basic needs met, what are the issues they run into?

[Emily]
Well, you get bored. I mean, yes, you have to fill your day with chores and stuff to meet your basic needs, but it doesn’t take as long as you think it’s going to.

[Thomas]
Right. Getting water? It’s just there. The plants are going to grow as they’re going to grow. There’s nothing you can do to speed that along. You could fish, but even that’s just sort of standing there waiting for most of the time.

[Emily]
Do they invent a really stupid game?

[Shep]
Oh, sure. After a while, eventually.

[Emily]
Yeah. It could start with one of them doing something to just pass the time, and the other one’s like, “What are you doing?” And they explain some arbitrary rules they’ve made up, and-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
She came up with the game because she’s always doing stuff like that to keep herself occupied that don’t involve other people.

[Thomas]
So they’re sort of bonding a little bit over this game. And then does that lead into the first major discussion of their private lives, where we start getting individual details that will come back later in the third act? At what point do they learn each other’s names?

[Emily]
Early on. It’s going to be really early on where he’s like, “Hey, lady,” and she’s like, “I’ve got a name.”

[Shep]
She says it just like that?

[Emily]
Yeah, “I’ve got a name.”

[Thomas]
What else happens on the island? Do we see early romantic tension there?

[Emily]
Of course, one of them is checking out the other one while they’re doing something. Like he’s hoeing the field, and she’s like, “Oh, yeah. Till that earth, baby.”

[Thomas]
Is she more mad at him than he is at her?

[Shep]
Why is she mad at him?

[Emily]
I think he’s more mad at her because she’s kind of, like, “It doesn’t suck,” and he’s just dying to get off of the island.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
So he’s mad at her because she got in the way and messed everything up.

[Thomas]
They wouldn’t be in this situation if she would have just-

[Emily]
Right. Had she just let him have the washing machine, and then on top of all of that, she’s very nonchalant about this whole thing. She’s just like, “Uh, okay!”

[Thomas]
Anything else on the island.

[Emily]
Just sexual tension.

[Thomas]
Do they need to fight some more at some point and then kind of make up? What are the things they run into? Do other people show up on the island at some point? Bad guys who they need to hide from?

[Emily]
I think it complicates things too much if you add them there.

[Shep]
Also, I mean, how do you explain that later when they’re back in reality or back to their starting point? Because as it currently is, it’s just an island in the middle of nothing. I mean, you could see the stars at night. Oh, man. Could you see the stars at night? How clear is that night going to be with no city lights and the light pollution? That could be something they bond over.

[Emily]
Of course.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
One of them has got to know about constellations and stuff and talk about it to the other because that sounds like nerd shit.

[Thomas]
They both know about constellations because he knows it from a survival standpoint. And she knows it because she’s read books about it.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And it’s the first thing they bond over the first night.

[Emily]
There you go.

[Shep]
That’s so good. It fits their established characters so well.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I think another bonding moment where they fight but kind of make up is maybe she’s doing something semi dangerous that she shouldn’t be because she’s not athletic or strong enough to do it. Like climb a tree to get something or something like that. And he kind of freaks out on her, and is like-

[Thomas]
Or she’s turned her back on the ocean-

[Emily]
Yeah, something.

[Thomas]
Or is walking around barefoot in the shallows not realizing, “Whoa, hold on, you could step on something that’ll-“

[Shep]
“Kill you.”

[Thomas]
Poison you,” yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah. And so he just freaks out and starts screaming at her and telling her that she’s being stupid and irresponsible, so she brings him, like, a mango later to make up for it, and is like, “Yeah, you were right.”

[Shep]
Wait, she’s bringing-?

[Thomas]
She apologizes to him?

[Shep]
Whoa whoa whoa. I think we’ve learned something about Emily here.

[Emily]
Wow. Apparently.

[Shep]
No, he’s the one that is well, not necessarily over reacting, but maybe could word it better.

[Emily]
Yeah. He could have handled the situation better.

[Thomas and Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
I mean, they both apologize, but I feel like he needs to more.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah. If he’s yelling at her and calling her stupid or telling her to think before, you know. But like, think about what? She doesn’t know all the survival stuff that he knows.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
It’s not her fault that she doesn’t know that.

[Emily]
But she’s also very timid and not assertive, so she would definitely be like, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. At first.

[Emily]
At first.

[Thomas]
And maybe they sort of storm off or he storms off like, “God, I can’t be babysitting you all the time.”

[Emily]
And then she kind of starts thinking about it and stews a little bit.

[Thomas]
And so then she confronts him. It’s a good opportunity, I guess.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Why would she be wanting to work on that though? It just is potentially going to make things even worse between them.

[Shep]
No, you have that scene at the beginning with her therapist talking about how to confront people. So she’s putting into practice again that same lesson.

[Thomas]
That got her into trouble in the first place.

[Shep]
She got teleported. That’s not within the realm of expectation.

[Emily]
Was not her fault. Well, maybe she sets up a boundary of “You could be more respectful to me. Yes, what I’ve done might have been dangerous, but I didn’t know that, and you didn’t have to say those mean things to me.” And then he gives her a mango, and is like, “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. That could be a good bonding moment too. She’s like, “Oh man, I miss sushi.” And he’s like, “I mean, we can get fish.”

[Emily]
“Can’t do the rice, but we can do the fish.”

[Thomas]
He makes her sushi. And she’s like, “So it says something about there could be parasites or whatever. Like, I’m not going to eat that.” “You want really fresh fish, right?” She’s like, “No, it needs to be frozen first to kill the parasites.” “Oh.” I don’t know.

[Shep]
No, I think that’s good. I like it because you can’t freeze them on the island.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
You just don’t have the capability.

[Emily]
There’s no way.

[Shep]
You have to cook all the fish to eat them.

[Thomas]
She’s got to be like, actually, “The USDA recommends that raw fish be frozen to negative 30 degrees for a period.” And so he’s just like, “Why do you know these things?”

[Emily]
“I read a lot.”

[Thomas]
“Why do you know the things you know?” “All right, fine.” Oh, man. One of the conversations has to be about when they get back.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And so shortly after that, he’s like, “You know what? When we get back, I’m taking you to trivia night because you know all sorts of random shit.”

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. Because they each know separate stuff. So, like, “The two of us together would be an unstoppable team.” That’s great because it’s putting out there them being on the same team.

[Emily and Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And having a future together.

[Thomas and Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
It shows that he wants to continue to see her after they get back.

[Shep]
Right. But also doesn’t really know her very well because she wouldn’t want to go out to a bar for trivia night.

[Thomas]
Right. She would hate that. That would be awful.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Bar trivia is atrocious.

[Thomas]
OK. We’re about out of time, and I feel like this episode has been kind of all over the place, so let me try to sum this up.

[Shep]
Yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
Our two main characters get into a fight over the last available washing machine in a laundromat. They’re arguing because he’s in a hurry, and she’s trying to stand up for herself, per her therapist’s suggestion. In the tussle, they are magically and mysteriously transported to a deserted tropical island. Adding to the magic is the fact that despite not being plugged in or hooked up to anything, the washing machine still works and provides them with clean, drinkable water. They find some plants growing on the island that they can cultivate and eat and eventually build a hut around the washing machine. Despite their initial disdain for one another, being isolated from the rest of the world for an entire year brings them closer together. They get to know each other and start to fall in love.

[Emily and Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
On the one-year anniversary of them being teleported to the island, their feelings for one another are coming to a head, and just as they’re about to kiss, they accidentally recreate the scenario that teleported them to the island, and they are suddenly teleported back to the laundromat. They’re both stunned to be back, so suddenly, and before either of them can react, the man’s friend approaches, and it’s immediately clear that no time at all has passed. Fearful she imagined the whole thing, the woman runs out of the laundromat, and both of them wonder if their year together actually happened. The man decides his feelings for the woman are real and searches all over the city for her, eventually finding her at her favorite library, sitting at her favorite table.

[Emily]
At her table.

[Shep]
Right. So you have her say a line earlier because she doesn’t like being around people that when they’re alone on the island, and maybe she’s in the room or whatever, and he comes in to get water or whatever. She’s on the side of the little hut that has the washing machine, so he comes in to get water, and she’s, I don’t know, reading the Cyrillic I don’t know, whatever she’s doing in there. And he’s like, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to bother you.” And she’s like, “I don’t mind, if it’s you.”

[Thomas]
That’s good.

[Emily]
Oh, no. That’s going to make me tear up when she says it in person.

[Shep]
So when he shows up in the library, and he’s like, “Am I bothering you?” And she’s like, “I don’t mind if it’s you.”

[Emily]
That’s perfect.

[Thomas]
So then they kiss in the library.

[Emily]
Of course.

[Thomas]
Okay. And then do we just sort of go straight from there to the wedding? There’s maybe like a title card, and then the family is like, “How long have you been dating?” “About a year.” Role credits.

[Shep]
Does she stay at the reception, or does she just go to the wedding to support her sister? But she’s not even down in the pews. She’s, like, up in the balcony away from people. So she’s there to see the wedding, and her sister knows she’s there, but she’s not with other people, except maybe the guy. I don’t know.

[Emily]
I think you’re adding too much to the-

[Shep]
If she’s going from being alone on an island with just him-

[Emily]
No, but she would have had to have done the wedding anyway. Like, regardless.

[Thomas]
Well, maybe in that time that he’s spending looking for her, we sort of show what she’s doing because we need to show what she’s doing so that we know why he’s not finding her in the places he expects to find her. And part of what she’s doing is continuing her therapy to get over her social anxiety. And so maybe she’s being more social, and so we see that the time on the island has maybe helped in some way.

[Emily]
Maybe we see them at the wedding and she participates like she’s supposed to, and she does the “How you doing?” Family greeting, blah, blah, blah. And then he looks at her like- They haven’t done the cake yet. They haven’t gotten to toss in the bouquet. And he’s like, “Do you want to get out of here?” And she’s like, “Oh god, yes.”

[Thomas]
That’s good.

[Emily]
So you still know that she still has that and she’s not completely over it, and he’s helping her deal with it.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s good. I like it. All right, well, we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s show. Did it leave you feeling fresh and clean or just unbalanced? Is that too obscure of a washing machine joke? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com We hope you enjoyed our episode about a washing machine, and we hope you’ll take a moment this week to tell someone about the podcast. We’d love to reach a wider audience, and with your help, we can. Emily, Shep, and I look forward to seeing you again next week for another episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Shep]
It’s a jungle island. Not a desert island.

[Thomas]
Maybe it’s a dessert island. “Ice cream trees!”

[Shep]
So it is a fantasy. So it didn’t happen.

[Thomas]
“Red Vines!”

[Shep]
(Pained groan)