Briefcase

References

• Salish Sea human foot discoveries
• Falling Down
• Pulp Fiction
• Briefcase Full of Money
• No Country for Old Men
• Dumb and Dumber
• Rashomon
• The Man Who Knew Too Little
• The Terminator
• Bert Kreischer
  • The Machine
• John Cena
• Michael Cera
• Dwayne Johnson
• Jason Statham
• John Wick
• Mr. Bean
• Vulcan Nerve Pinch
• The Princess Bride
  • Dread Pirate Roberts

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Shep]
I have a question. This might be a dumb question: What is a Chili’s 2? You’re both talking about it as if I should know.

[Emily]
It’s a mini Chili’s in an airport.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s a mini Chili’s?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Why is it called a Chili’s 2?

[Emily]
Because it’s not a full-size Chili’s. Because it’s Chili’s, as well.

[Thomas]
It’s T. O. O.

[Shep]
Oh, T. O. O!

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Not a Chili’s sequel.

[Thomas]
No, no.

[Emily]
No, no, no, it’s Chili’s as well.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Shep]
Okay. You guys kept talking about it as if this was common knowledge.

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. I’m Thomas J. Brown, and I know sometimes my intros can ramble on a bit, so this time I’ll try to keep it brief. Groaning at my puns are Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
And F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
Happy to be here.

[Thomas]
Well, a Briefcase is a type of container, and long-time listeners will know that containers pose a challenge for us. It’s tempting to focus on what’s in the container rather than on the container itself. We’ll do our best in this episode to make sure that that’s not the case. Or rather, it is the case. You know what I mean? Up first is Emily.

[Emily]
On the western coast of Canada, shoes wash up on shore with human feet still in them.

[Thomas]
Yes, but we want to hear your pitch.

[Emily]
It’s been happening near and around the Salish Sea in British Columbia since about 1887.

[Shep]
Wait, wait, pause. Is that real? Is that a real thing?

[Emily]
100%.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Shep]
Because you, like, you said all this and then you’re like- And then my idea is building off of this real thing that happens.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
It is a real thing. One of the more recent ones was in 2017 and they thought perhaps there was a serial killer because it was several that year that had shown up.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
No, it’s people who go missing or lost at sea. It’s the way they decompose. Their feet stay in their shoes, and then they end up washed ashore in British Columbia.

[Shep]
Ew.

[Emily]
Yeah. Carrying on. My idea is a few young adults go looking for one of these washed-up shoes they’re hoping to be.

[Shep]
Pause. Ew. Okay, continue.

[Emily]
This is just gonna get better for you, Shep.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Emily]
I promise.

[Shep]
Oh, geez.

[Emily]
They are hoping to make a TikTok or Reel or whatever will do the product placement for us.

[Thomas]
Probably not Nike.

[Emily]
Instead of finding a shoe with a foot, they find a briefcase with several feet. There are initials engraved on a plate on the briefcase. And instead of being intelligent, responsible young adults and reporting this to the police, they take the briefcase home and document themselves trying to solve the crime. They are smart enough not to upload any footage until it’s done because they know audiences prefer to binge-watch a complete season rather than wait for the story to unfold piece by piece. You look disturbed, Shep. And I think it’s because it feels like it’s something that would actually happen.

[Shep]
Are the feet in the briefcase or is it just a briefcase near some feet?

[Emily]
Yeah. No, no. There’re feet in it.

[Shep]
So the briefcase is open.

[Emily]
No. They open it when they find it washed ashore.

[Shep]
I mean, it’s not locked is what I mean.

[Emily]
No. Or they use a rock to break it open.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
Okay, well, it’s definitely not people that have gone missing or decomposing. Someone has collected enough feet to need a briefcase to carry them around.

[Thomas]
I actually kind of like the idea that this serial killer who collects feet was just having a beach day and they forgot the briefcase accidentally.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
They get home, they’re like, “Where’s my briefcase of feet? Oh, no!”

[Emily]
And my next one is a story where someone has an emotional and mental breakdown due to the stresses of adulthood and anthropomorphizes their briefcase to help them navigate this new stage of life.

[Shep]
You started saying “A story where someone has an emotional and mental breakdown,” and we’re in the briefcase episode, and all I could think of was the movie Falling Down.

[Thomas]
Mmm.

[Emily]
Oh, I know.

[Emily]
What do you have, Thomas?

[Thomas]
All right, I have two pitches today. The first is an aging private detective is struggling to keep his detective agency afloat, when one day he finds a briefcase sitting on his doorstep. There’s no note, and the briefcase is locked. He’s concerned it’s a bomb and considers calling the police. But curiosity gets the better of him, and he picks the lock. Inside, he finds a clue that leads him to realize the briefcase belonged to a prominent businessman who disappeared three years earlier.

[Shep]
I like that it’s a businessman who disappeared three years earlier, so it’s not like he recently disappeared.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And this briefcase accidentally ended up on this detective’s doorstep.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Like, this is an intentional setup that’s going on.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Yeah. My second idea: Two strangers, both in a hurry to get their morning coffee and get to work, accidentally grab each other’s identical briefcases. This leads to bigger problems for both of them and ultimately, love.

[Shep]
Of course, it’s a rom-com.

[Thomas]
Naturally.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Naturally.

[Thomas]
All right, those are my pitches. Shep, what do you have for us?

[Shep]
Two mob hitmen retrieve their boss’s stolen briefcase, the glowing contents of which are never fully seen. Oh, wait. How about: a briefcase full of money ends up in the wrong hands? Oh, wait, that’s 20 other movies.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
I mean, that ranges from No Country for Old Men to Dumb and Dumber. Like, that’s in a lot of movies.

[Thomas]
I was like, “What movie is he trying to reference?” And I was like, I guess just all of them.

[Emily]
All of them.

[Thomas]
All movies.

[Shep]
Yeah. Okay, here’s an actual pitch. Actually, we’ve talked about this before. Part of the reason that we do this podcast is that we would come up with movie pitches whenever we would get together, if you recall.

[Thomas]
Mm. Yeah.

[Shep]
And this was as much as I could remember of a conversation we had, I think in 2009 or 2010.

[Thomas]
Oh, wow.

[Shep]
So I don’t know if you remember it. I didn’t remember it until I was starting to write the pitch. And I’m like, “This seems real familiar.”

[Thomas]
You think the words are coming so easily.

[Shep]
Yes, “I can really picture all the scenes.” It’s like, oh, that’s right. We talked about this quite a lot.

[Shep]
All right, here’s the pitch: A tale told from three perspectives. First, we see gang members attempting to rob a courier carrying an important briefcase for a rival gang. But the courier proves too tough to deal with. Gangs, corrupt cops, everyone goes after this briefcase, but they’re all taken down by the courier. Then we see the same incidents from the courier’s perspective. He’s not the tough man everyone thinks he is. In fact, he’s not the courier that was supposed to deliver this briefcase at all. There was a mix-up. This courier is afraid to fly and is zonked out on tranquilizers. Which is why everyone perceives him as cold and unflinching, when in fact he’s high and hallucinating. Finally, we see things from the perspective of the actual intended courier, who has the most clear-headed, impartial view as he follows the trail of the briefcase and cleans up the would-be thieves and rivals. It’s a Rashomon-style The Man Who Knew Too Little.

[Thomas]
Man, I have no memory of this at all.

[Shep]
No memory of this at all?

[Emily]
I vividly remember this. I don’t remember when we talked about it, but I do vividly remember this conversation. Yeah.

[Thomas]
Huh.

[Shep]
The opening scene is: there’s two thieves in a car and they’re trying to get the briefcase from the guy and he won’t give it up. And they’re shooting at him. And then he starts chasing after the car and they’re fleeing. And because it’s hard to shoot in a moving car, they like keep missing. They keep shooting and keep missing. And he goes around a corner, this is in a car park, and he goes around a corner too quickly and the guy shooting falls out of the car.

[Thomas]
Ha.

[Shep]
And the guy in the car books it and he gets out to the street and the gunman falls from the car park onto his hood and dies. And the guy looks up and he sees the courier looking straight at him and pointing. And it’s like, “I’m coming for you next.” The courier is this big mountain of a man. And then when we see the same scene from the courier’s perspective a third of the way through the movie, he is high as a kite because he took all those tranquilizers because he’s afraid to fly. So he’s hallucinating, like, this beautiful fairy throwing flowers at him and he’s chasing her. He’s like, “I’m gonna catch you.” And that’s not the perspective that the thieves are seeing because they know the rumors of this courier as this Terminator-style-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
You really don’t remember this, Thomas? Like all of this? I’m like, “Oh, yeah, that’s right.” And then-

[Thomas]
I don’t.

[Shep]
Really.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
We had a bunch of scenes. We had a scene where there was a…

[Shep]
He was supposed to go to this bar for a drop off. And one of the rival gangs and corrupt cops, several groups of people that want the briefcase are attempting to get to the bar to lay an ambush of the Courier. But they are all arrive at the same time and ambush each other. And so by the time he arrives, everybody’s dead.

[Thomas]
So that sounds familiar. But that’s the only thing you’ve said that sounds familiar out of this whole thing.

[Shep]
So that’s… That’s the pitch.

[Thomas]
All right, well, is there one that we want to pursue? I mean, I like that one.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
We had a lot of ideas, obviously, for that one.

[Shep]
Yeah, I mean, we’d have to recreate it all.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Emily]
Well, if it was as long ago as you say, I’ve had two pregnancies. My brain does not there anymore.

[Shep]
It’s at least that long ago because I have a fragment of a note in my Google Docs that is the first part of that from 2010. So-

[Thomas]
Wow.

[Emily]
Oh, my god. Oh, wow.

[Shep]
All right, do we want to do that one since we worked on it already and maybe it will come back to Thomas?

[Thomas]
Sure we can.

[Shep]
All right, do we want to stick with the Rashomon-style of telling it three times? I really liked that when we came up with that idea in 2009.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I mean, I think the actual writing would have to be quite clever to make that a satisfying framework, but I don’t think we need to worry about that for our purposes today.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
As long as we can come up with those broad strokes and the structure of what the story is. Maybe we need some of the details of what gets revealed when.

[Emily]
Right. Yeah.

[Thomas]
But I think maybe it would help to figure out what canonically happened, because I think where a lot of these stories work well is when information is being withheld from the audience. Right?

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So you think that something happened one way and then you get a new perspective and then it sheds new light on, as we were saying, the guy, you think, “Oh, he pushed the guy off of the parking structure” when really the guy tripped and fell and… Right?

[Shep]
Right. Because he’s so terrified of the Courier. Based on all the rumors going around the Courier, we actually talked about a scene where the actual Courier is interrogating someone, and they’re afraid to talk because they’re afraid of the Courier, which they think is not the person interrogating them, but the other guy.

[Thomas]
So does it matter? It doesn’t matter what is in the briefcase. Right?

[Shep]
No.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
So this is the opposite of the container problem.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s just the briefcase itself is the MacGuffin.

[Thomas]
And how does the- There’s the real Courier, the fake courier and the gang. Right?

[Shep]
So what I had for the name of the real courier was ‘the machine’. But then there is the-

[Thomas]
Ah.

[Shep]
Yeah, we can’t use that.

[Thomas]
Yeah. No.

[Shep]
Because he’s an emotionless killing machine. So let’s call him the Terminator. Now, that’s been enough that-

[Thomas]
Okay. Yeah.

[Shep]
That’s generic enough term. We could probably easierly get away with calling him the Terminator than we could with “the machine”. So we have the Courier, we have the Terminator, and then we have the various gangs.

[Thomas]
Okay, so how did the Courier end up with the case instead of the Terminator?

[Shep]
He went to the wrong place. So he got a job as a courier, but he’s not been a courier before. This is, like his first gig.

[Emily]
But he’s like a legit courier. Like he does non-criminal. Currying.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Currying.

[Emily]
Currying. That is what I said, curry.

[Thomas]
Is that the word?

[Emily]
It is now.

[Shep]
What is the couriering? Court-?

[Thomas]
Careering?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Currying.

[Thomas]
Sure. I don’t know.

[Shep]
Forget that.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
That’s not important.

[Emily]
Forget I said currying. He’s a legitimate transporter.

[Shep]
Yes, he is a legitimate courier on his first gig, but because he’s afraid to fly, he did take a bunch of tranquilizers beforehand before getting on the plane, before picking up the package. So he took a bunch of tranquilizers. He goes to pick up the package and goes to the wrong person. He’s supposed to meet this person in front of the airport. He just goes up to the guy with the briefcase. And the guy with the briefcase is like, “Are you the Courier?” And he’s like, “Yes.” And he’s very-

[Thomas]
Right. He looks the part of the Terminator.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
So the guy’s like, “Well, this is what I was expecting.”

[Shep]
Right. An emotionless machine that is here to transport the package.

[Thomas]
Why did the Courier take a job that he was afraid of?

[Shep]
He’s poor. He’s poor. His previous job was, like, spinning signs on the side of the road, and that’s no career. So his friend got him this gig.

[Emily]
And his friend got him the tranquilizers to say, “Hey, this will get you through the flight. All you gotta do is pick up the package, knock yourself out for the flight. Once you land, you’ll be awake, and then you can deliver it. It’s easy money. And you get a nice nap.”

[Shep]
And you get to travel. That was the other thing. So he’s stuck in this town spinning a sign. He doesn’t have any money. He doesn’t get to go anywhere. He doesn’t get to do anything. Well, here’s a job that gets you free travel, because traveling is part of the job. So you go and you take this package, and then you spend a day in whatever city that you went to.

[Thomas]
And that can be where they have the conversation. He’s like, “But I’m afraid of flying.” And he’s like, “Bro, I got you. Here’s my, you know, girlfriend’s Xanax (or something).”

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Right. He gives him enough for two flights.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
There and back.

[Shep]
But he takes it all.

[Thomas]
Is it one of those situations where he gives him two pills or whatever and then he says, “Okay, now what you’re going to want to do…” And the guy pops him immediately and…

[Emily]
Already s- Yep.

[Thomas]
And then he turns around and he’s like, “Uh oh.” He’s like, “Well, you better hurry up and get to the airport.”

[Emily]
“Your flight’s not till tomorrow.”

[Shep]
Well, then he’d be sober.

[Emily]
I know.

[Thomas]
I think he- He couldn’t be picking it up at the airport, though, because then he would just enter the airport. So he would just get on the plane.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So this needs to be pick it up in point A, travel to the airport to get on the plane.

[Shep]
I’m sorry, I’m lost. Why can’t he pick it up at the airport?

[Thomas]
Then how do you have the rest of the movie? Because if he picks it up at the airport, the rest of the movie is: get on the plane and fall asleep.

[Shep]
He does get on the plane. This is at the destination. He’s still high when he gets off the plane. He’s not flying to London. He’s flying to California. It’s a two-hour flight. He took enough drugs for eight hours.

[Thomas]
Also, if I’m the bad guy, I’m not doing a handoff at the airport. There are fucking cameras everywhere. It’s pretty suspicious.

[Shep]
That’s a much better argument.

[Emily]
There you go. What is there, like a Mail Boxes Etc.?

[Thomas]
Honestly, probably you could just do it at the airport parking garage.

[Emily]
I was imagining, like, you know, where the taxis drop you off, but yeah. In the parking garage works.

[Shep]
Perfect.

[Thomas]
So he meets the shady bad guy at wherever. At the airport.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because he’s stumbling out of his Uber. Because he’s already taken the pills.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right, right, right.

[Emily]
Right. So he’s stumbling out of the Uber and he looks like the Terminator. So somebody in the shadows is like, “Hey, over here.”

[Thomas]
So the expected outcome for the Courier is: I will get a briefcase, I will fly it to California, I will meet some other person at the airport and hand it off to them, and then that’s it, I’m done.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yes, that’s the plan.

[Thomas]
But when he gets to California, there’s a wrench in the works. Something has gone wrong, and he has to take it out of the airport somewhere. For whatever reason. And so that’s how the pursuit begins?

[Shep]
Yeah. So let’s say he’s supposed to meet someone in that parking garage at the target airport.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But this is where the first ambush is, because those other two gang members are already there.

[Thomas]
Oh, sure. He gets given a phone number. “If anything goes wrong, call this number.”

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
When he picks up the briefcase.

[Shep]
All right.

[Thomas]
And then that way he gets ambushed, he runs away.

[Shep]
They run away from him.

[Thomas]
Probably. Oh, maybe they’ve… When he gets to California, he goes to the parking garage where he’s supposed to meet the person. He finds the car he’s supposed to deliver it to. He gets ambushed, but they realize, “Oh, my gosh, this must be the Terminator,” and they panic. And anyway, it turns out the guy he was supposed to meet has been killed by this other gang. So he doesn’t have anyone to deliver the suitcase to now, or the briefcase to.

[Emily]
Why was the guy killed?

[Shep]
Because of the other gang members. They came and killed that guy.

[Thomas]
Before the Courier got there.

[Shep]
Before the Courier got there.

[Emily]
But I thought the Courier was doing a different legitimate job that had nothing to do with these illicit, nefarious things.

[Shep]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He got a job as a legit courier and went to the wrong place to pick up the package.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
So instead of picking up the real package that he was hired to do, he picks up this package.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
When he picks up the wrong package, they give him the rest of the instructions. So from that point on, he’s on the wrong package path.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
So maybe he is originally told, “There’ll be a guy right outside of the secure zone where you’re going to meet a guy at the, you know, Chili’s Too (or whatever it is), and you’re going to give him the briefcase.”

[Emily]
Okay, right.

[Thomas]
And then when he picks it up, he says, “Okay, you’re going to meet the guy in the parking structure.”

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
And he’s like, “Oh, not at the Chili’s. He’s like, why would he be at the Chili’s? No, the parking structure.”

[Emily]
You guys had skipped that part where he gets that second set of instructions.

[Thomas]
Well, I hadn’t thought of it yet. So-

[Emily]
Okay, I’m back on board. Sorry.

[Thomas]
So his contact is dead. He has this phone number he’s supposed to call if anything goes wrong. Do we like that idea still?

[Shep]
Sure. Because otherwise, what does he do next?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Oh, that’s who tells him where to go from there.

[Thomas]
Right. And so then they say, “Oh, it’s not a problem. Just bring the package to this address.” Does he… Does he go to the car rental place? But because he’s poor, he doesn’t have enough money to rent a car. But right outside the car rental place, there’s a kiosk that’s renting scooters, and they’re, like, way cheaper. So this mountain of a man has to rent a little moped.

[Shep]
Now, remember, he is not actually a mountain of a man. They are perceiving him as a mountain of a man.

[Thomas]
I thought he was, like, a physically large person, but he’s like a big softy.

[Shep]
No. I imagine that you have two completely separate actors. One playing what they see and one who actually is-

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
So you have, you know, some big mountain of a man. Big, full, bushy beard, lots of muscles.

[Emily]
John Cena.

[Shep]
Then you have… Yeah, John Cena with a big, bushy beard, as we always see John Cena have.

[Emily]
I mean, he’s got to open his range a little.

[Thomas]
No, I think we have-

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
John Cena is what they perceive, and Michael Cera is who he is.

[Shep]
Oh, and Michael. Cera. Yes!

[Emily]
That is exactly where I was going with it.

[Thomas]
Let’s bring this duo back together. I like this.

[Emily]
We keep putting it out there enough.

[Shep]
Oh, gosh, that’s not how I pictured it at all. But it’s so much better.

[Emily]
But you keep putting this in the universe, it will happen.

[Shep]
It’s going to happen. This is it. This is the one.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So who plays the Terminator? Like The Rock or somebody?

[Shep]
I mean, whoever. It doesn’t matter.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Whoever’s had. I believe at the time we were thinking, like, Jason Statham kind of guy. Because that was when he was-

[Thomas]
Actually, that would work pretty well because he is a tough guy, but he’s not this huge, imposing figure.

[Emily]
Right. Whoever the new Jason Statham is. Because he’s too old to do it now.

[Thomas]
Sure, yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Sorry, Jason, if you’re listening.

[Shep]
I mean, we’re too old because all of our references are people that are now old.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So what is the new location that he is given, or does it matter?

[Shep]
Well, is this the bar?

[Emily]
I was gonna say, is it the bar? Because that makes it easier for him to end up there.

[Thomas]
Sure, yeah, yeah. Is… the scene with the gang members in the parking structure, that happens before the bar. Right?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So that must be the parking structure in California. Once they realize who it is or who they think it is, they freak out. The one guy just takes off in the car, and the other guy is, like, thinks that he’s pinned down, and he ends up jumping off of the edge of the parking structure and then landing on the other guy’s car. And…

[Shep]
Well, from his perspective, the Terminator is running at him saying, “I’m gonna get you.” Because the guy who is standing is seeing the fairy, and he’s like, “I’m gonna catch you. I’m gonna catch you.”

[Emily]
So does he actually jump? Because he’d rather take his chances jumping off the parking structure than get caught for whatever brutal, horrific thing he’s going to do to me. Or does he stumble over, like, some object randomly in the parking garage and then he trips over and falls over the side?

[Shep]
I mean, it could go either way, and that could be a problem for the writers.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
It could be, but I was thinking if we establish that there, then when we’re at the bar scene, he could be responsible for killing everyone. But in a way, like, he accidentally flails his arms and kind of starts the gunfire, and that leads to all the dead bodies. You know, like a John Wick-style fight scene, but all accidentally. So when you’re looking at it from the gangster’s perspective, it’s John Wick.

[Thomas]
Right. He intentionally, like, hit someone and spun that guy around and used him to use that guy’s gun to shoot someone.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas]
And that started the whole thing. Sure.

[Emily]
Yeah. But in his. It’s like he accidentally spilled his drink on somebody and he went to go apologize. He bumped the guy in the wrong way. Very Mr. Bean.

[Shep]
Mr. Bean as John Wick. Am I understanding this correctly?

[Emily]
Yes. That is- Yeah. That is what I want you to envision.

[Shep]
Okay, my question is: What is the finale? Because that kind of scene, I think, should be like the last scene.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
One thing I was just thinking about is, what is the order that we show these in? Because if we show the Courier first, that feels to me like the truth. And I feel like we should save that for last. So I almost feel like we need to see, like, gang members first, then the Terminator, then the Courier.

[Shep]
The Courier is high, though. So what he’s seeing is hallucinations.

[Thomas]
Okay, that’s fair. The Terminator is not right there with him, though, is he?

[Shep]
No, the Terminator is following the clues of the Briefcase. So, like-

[Thomas]
So he’s, like, hours behind.

[Emily]
Do we want him to suspect that the Courier is a rival trying to take his place? Or does he realize it’s just some doofus idiot that he has to clean up all this mess for?

[Shep]
I don’t think that he would realize it right away-

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Because it wouldn’t be obvious and, in fact, would be so unlikely. But, yeah, I think the Terminator is not a dummy. And once he starts to put the pieces together, he’ll realize what’s going on.

[Thomas]
What if the Terminator also gets the wrong briefcase at the origin airport and they’re both on the same flight together without realizing it?

[Shep]
I imagine that they both picked up a package that was intended for California because if it weren’t, then it would be obvious that it’s the wrong one.

[Thomas]
Oh, for sure. Yeah.

[Shep]
So I don’t know if they would be on the same flight, but they are definitely going to the same airport. But it could be funny if they are both on the same flight.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I’m just trying to think, like, I don’t know, maybe this is a problem for the writers, but, like, does the Terminator get instructions to deliver the package to the Chili’s Too? Or does he know he needs to go and meet the other guy at the parking garage? But if he does, how does he get there so much later?

[Shep]
He wouldn’t. He gets the instructions when he gets the package.

[Emily]
Yeah, because he would… He knows the job is: point A, pick up package. They tell me where point B is, drop off package.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Emily]
Whereas the Courier originally was like, I pick up this package and I drop it off at the Chili’s Too. So that when the Terminator comes and he asks, “Where am I delivering this?”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And they’re like, “The Chili’s Too at the airport in San Diego. Where do you think you’re taking it?”

[Shep]
Yeah. They’re talking to each other like “Amateur, this guy.”

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Oh, man.

[Emily]
He’s very, like, very confused because what respectable mob boss would meet at a Chili’s Too in an airport.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
I have a question. This might be a dumb question: What is a Chili’s 2? You’re both talking about it as if I should know.

[Emily]
It’s a mini Chili’s in an airport.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s a mini Chili’s?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Why is it called a Chili’s 2?

[Emily]
Because it’s not a full-size Chili’s. Because it’s Chili’s, as well.

[Thomas]
It’s T. O. O.

[Shep]
Oh, T. O. O!

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Not a Chili’s sequel.

[Thomas]
No, no.

[Emily]
No, no, no, it’s Chili’s as well.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Shep]
Okay. You guys kept talking about it as if this was common knowledge.

[Thomas]
It is.

[Shep]
Is it?

[Thomas]
I don’t know.

[Shep]
Anyway, where are we on this story? I want to introduce a new thing.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
So, previously I talked about rival gangs and corrupt cops and how everyone’s coming together at the bar to ambush the Courier. We haven’t actually introduced the corrupt cops yet.

[Emily]
Hmm.

[Shep]
I want them to pull him over when he is on his scooter.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
Now, the briefcase is handcuffed to him, and he doesn’t have the key. They’ll have the key at the destination, he’s told. So he gets pulled over by the cops who are after the briefcase, but they can’t take it off him because it’s not a regular, like, handcuff key. It’s some special key. That’s it. I just want to introduce the corrupt cops at this point before we get to the bar shootout.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Emily]
Okay, makes sense.

[Thomas]
How does he get away from the corrupt cops?

[Shep]
Oh, I don’t know. That’s. That’s a good question. Let’s figure that out right now.

[Emily]
How does one get away from… Well, he’s white, so that helps.

[Thomas]
I mean, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe they take him somewhere.

[Shep]
Where can they take him? They can’t really take him to the station.

[Thomas]
No, they wouldn’t.

[Emily]
No, there could be a safe house or-

[Thomas]
I mean, there are probably a whole bunch of corrupt cops. They probably have their own place where they hang out.

[Emily]
An undisclosed location is where they take him.

[Shep]
It’s the back room of a donut shop.

[Emily]
It’s convenient. They’re already there.

[Thomas]
Right. If you order a certain specific donut that doesn’t exist, they know, “Oh, okay.” Buzz you into the back room.

[Shep]
And he’s just compliantly going along because he’s high.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So then what happens?

[Emily]
He has to get out, away from them with the briefcase.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Because he’s got a delivery to make. He has to get to the bar. Does he tell them that? He tells them the location.

[Thomas]
Yeah. They think they’re gonna interrogate him.

[Emily]
I wanted it to be a way where he comes across very menacing about, “I have a delivery to make. No matter what.” You know, whatever.

[Shep]
Right. One of the things that the roommate tells them is this is a new gig, and you have to make a good first impression, so you have to make that delivery.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So he’s like, “I have to make this delivery.”

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
“I’m going to make this delivery.”

[Emily]
Yeah. And so he comes across as menacing to them, whereas he’s just like, “I can’t. I don’t have time for a donut. I got to go make this delivery. It’s important that I do this.”

[Thomas]
If they pick him up in a black and white car, he could not realize that it’s a cop car and end up stealing it. And so when he rolls up to the bar in a cop car, it’s like, “Oh, shit, the cops are here.”

[Emily]
Why would he accidentally steal it?

[Thomas]
Because if they take him, he doesn’t have the scooter anymore.

[Emily]
Right, right. But is there like a miscommunication where he thinks they’re giving him permission to take the car?

[Thomas]
Or he’s on that singular mindset.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
“I have to make this delivery.”

[Shep]
So what happens to the cops?

[Thomas]
I mean, it’s possible that he had previously told them where he was going so they know where to go. That’s how the cops end up at the bar.

[Emily]
All right. This is far-fetched.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
So this is how he gets away from the cops is: before they pull him over. Because we’re seeing it from their perspective. Right? That’s one of the perspectives is both the corrupt cops and the gang members. Right?

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
Okay. So from their perspective, they’re sitting in the car and one of them’s complaining about a shoulder injury he recently got from something, Whatever. And so when they’re in the back room and he’s like, “I’m going to make this delivery. I have to make this delivery.” He pushes down because he’s high. So it’s harder than he normally would anyway.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
Pushes down on that bad shoulder and it dislocates it or something stupid.

[Thomas]
There’s a pinched nerve in it.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
The cop’s just down in pain, screaming and writhing. And all the other guys are like, “Ah!” And he just. They just let walk out the door.

[Thomas]
I don’t know if a room full of cops with guns would just let him walk out the door.

[Emily]
This is true. Will you guys take it from there?

[Thomas]
But I like that idea of there’s some reason why it appears as though he is much stronger than he actually is.

[Emily]
Yeah. And he just like hits that, like you said, pinched nerve or whatever and brings that guy down to his knees. Is this where we could establish his fumbling kind of comes across us, his ability to fight?

[Shep]
How many cops are there? Is it just the two?

[Thomas]
At least two. It could just be those two. That would make it a lot easier for him to get away.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
I think we should go with two then. I would think no more than four.

[Thomas]
It’s got to be an even number.

[Shep]
Okay, two pick him up, take him to this location to interrogate him.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
He is free with the information of where he’s going. Because he’s like, “It doesn’t matter if you know.” Which to them is a very menacing thing to say.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Right. But to him, it’s like, “It doesn’t matter if you know. You guys are cops.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
It’s. Yeah.

[Thomas]
He’s just doing his job, his legit job.

[Shep]
Right. His legitimate job. So he tells them the location. Two of the cops leave for that bar to intercept whoever’s supposed to receive the package. Because they have some payment or whatever, and they want that as well. They want the other half of the MacGuffin or whatever. The point is, two were at the location and they find the information and they leave. So it’s just the two, the patrol two.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The one who is complaining about his shoulder and his partner, and he takes down the one that was complaining about his shoulder. How does he get the other partner? We’ve got it down to one person, but it’s one person with a gun.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
He knocks him out with the briefcase.

[Thomas]
Well, yeah. So what if the partner who we’re trying to get rid of is trying to, like, file the handcuff chain? And so when the one guy goes down, the Courier yanks his arm without thinking. He’s like, “Oh, my gosh,” trying to help the guy.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And as a result, something happens that-

[Emily]
The file flies into his eyeball and he dies.

[Thomas]
Right. Some, some, something happens.

[Emily]
I want to make it very violent. Sorry. The file could slip and stab him in the eye and then he would-

[Thomas]
Right. He’s real close to it and the chain catches on the file and yanks it into the one guy’s eye.

[Emily]
Yeah. And then that goes into the lore of like he just stabbed him in the eye with a file. He’s that brutal. I mean that would keep the cop from chasing him.

[Shep]
Right. Why doesn’t the other cop that’s only injured on the shoulder go after him? Obviously, he takes the car keys and he leaves with the cop car.

[Emily]
It’s a really bad shoulder injury.

[Shep]
I mean, from that cop’s perspective, he just stabbed his partner in the eye with a file.

[Emily]
After knowingly touching the bad nerve.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
We could establish earlier that, like, it really messed him up. Like, you could say, like, “Oh, man, it was like shooting down my back and I was all seized up.”

[Emily]
Yeah. Like it froze him.

[Thomas]
Right. “I had to go to the chiropractor and ice my back the whole weekend.” And so I imagine that he injured himself beating up some poor criminal.

[Shep]
Of course.

[Thomas]
Probably not even really a bad guy. And so he’s going to try to sue that guy, because they’re terrible people.

[Emily]
Great. So I think he’s just down because it hurts and he’s a baby.

[Shep]
Well, also from his perspective, he’s fighting John Wick.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Because his friend just got stabbed in the eye with a file after he got taken down with a Vulcan death grip.

[Thomas]
Right, right.

[Shep]
Right. So in an instant, he went from a prisoner to towering over the two of them, one of whom is dead.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right. The Courier is trying to help this guy up, but all the cop on the ground is seeing is like, him looming over and so… does he hand him the car keys?

[Emily]
Yeah. That’s how he gets to the car.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
And he thinks in the his reality he’s like, “Oh, that was so nice of you. Thank you.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
“I was gonna be late.”

[Thomas]
Right, right, right.

[Shep]
“But I have to make my delivery.”

[Thomas]
Right. All right, well, let’s take a break here, and when we come back, we’ll see how this story resolves for our Briefcase courier.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we’re back. Our main character, the Courier, has just escaped from the custody of the corrupt police and he is now on his way to the bar. What happens next?

[Shep]
So earlier I had two cops go to the bar ahead of time to try and intercept the receiver of the package or to get the key, because they have the key.

[Thomas]
Right, sure.

[Shep]
So they go to the bar, but they’re undercover. They’re plain clothes. But they get outed. Or one of the gang members there spots them and thinks that he recognizes them as cops. And they’re adamant that they are not cops. And this is when the Courier arrives in the cop car with the siren on because he is messing with the buttons.

[Emily]
Hahaha.

[Shep]
So it’s the two cops protesting their innocence. And then what they think is the cops showing up to the bar, and this is what leads to the big shootout.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
So right as the Courier is getting there, there’s a big shootout in the bar.

[Thomas]
So the undercover cops think, “Ah, reinforcements, we’re fine.” So now they feel emboldened to reveal themselves as cops?

[Shep]
I’m- perhaps. Or perhaps they’re just busted because they’re like, “We’re not cops. There aren’t cops coming.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“It’s fine.” And then coincidentally…

[Thomas]
Right. One of the gang members is, like, “They’ve probably already called for backup.”

[Shep]
Yeah. And there are two gangs there. I think we talked about this, or we touched on it briefly, where there are two gangs going for it.

[Emily]
Right there would be.

[Shep]
So there are two gangs and these cops.

[Thomas]
Now, this isn’t a gang bar. This is a just civilian bar that they’ve chosen to meet at?

[Shep]
I don’t know. However you want to do it. However you want to do it in such a way that only gang members and the corrupt cops are inside.

[Emily]
Well, it’s the middle of the day. Who’s going to be at a bar other than gang members and corrupt cops?

[Shep]
Alcoholics?

[Thomas]
Well, because otherwise, like, why would the rival gang be there?

[Shep]
Because this is where the drop off is. They’re also still trying to get the package.

[Thomas]
But they wouldn’t go into enemy territory. I mean, if you want them inside the bar, they could be waiting outside the bar, that would be fine. And then it could be a gang bar.

[Shep]
So they run in when they hear shooting?

[Thomas]
That’s why I think maybe it shouldn’t be a gang bar.

[Emily]
I think it should be a regular like businessy bar in the middle of town. And that when the first gang gets there, they clear it out, the drunks and the business people on their lunches. Because they came in, several of them came in, made them very uncomfortable or flat out said, “Hey, it’s time to go.”

[Shep]
Or it’s just the gang is waiting there and there are other people around and they all flee when the shooting starts.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Except for the drunk at the end of the bar who’s just stealing more liquor.

[Thomas]
Right, yeah. His plan is dive over the bar and then-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
We don’t call attention to it. You just see a hand come up and grab a bottle and it goes back down.

[Emily]
Like in a western, there’s always a drunk who did that during a shootout.

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah.

[Shep]
So I was thinking about this during the break, but we really don’t need to show everything three times. We just need the gang’s perspective and the Courier’s perspective. And if we have the Terminator, like we have the Terminator a little bit, but we don’t see every single scene.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
We just see enough to establish what really happened.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
Such as like the security footage perhaps at the airport parking garage or whatever, where he can put it together what the Courier is actually doing.

[Thomas]
And so in that case, do we see where the Terminator is watching the security footage and the camera’s sort of pulling back from that, you know, like starts on a close up shot of the monitor and we’re seeing the security footage and it pulls back, and we see the Terminator watching the security footage, and it pulls back further and the two guards are tied up and bound and gagged in a chair. Like, we don’t see how this has happened or what happened afterward. It’s just there to establish, like, this guy’s a fucking badass, he gets shit done.

[Shep]
Right. Or the guards are dead because he’s the fucking Terminator.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Whatever. Yeah, that’s true.

[Shep]
Yeah. So he sees perhaps a street camera pic of the corrupt cops picking him up. And so this is where the interrogation is. The cop with the hurt shoulder who’s still alive gets caught by the Terminator and interrogated. And he’s afraid to speak because he’s afraid of the rumors of the Terminator, which is this guy. But he doesn’t know that.

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah.

[Shep]
He knows that it must be the Courier because he just saw the Courier in an instant take him down and kill his partner in one smooth motion.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And then does the Terminator end up aggravating the nerve as well?

[Shep]
Oh, I’m sure. He gets his information.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So, where is our finale?

[Thomas]
It’s got to be at the bar, right?

[Shep]
Is it at the bar, or is it at some gang members’ headquarters?

[Thomas]
Who is alive after the shootout? The Barfly, the Courier, the Terminator, obviously.

[Shep]
End of list.

[Emily]
At least one cop, end of list?

[Shep]
What were- What were you saying, Emily?

[Emily]
Maybe a cop, but definitely at least one of the original gang members.

[Thomas]
Is there a standoff happening when the Terminator shows up between a gang member and a cop?

[Emily]
Is it the gang he needs to connect with and then he kills the cop for him so that he can take them where they need to go? Or- And he grabs the Courier. Like this is the scene where it all comes together. He grabs the Courier, kills the cop and then gets that guy to take him to the headquarters to get it all straightened out.

[Shep]
Okay, so from this point on, the Courier and the Terminator are together. Is that correct?

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
If there’s one gang member and the cop and one cop are still alive and they’re having a bit of a standoff, the Terminator walks in, that distracts the gang member, the cop shoots him, and then the Terminator shoots the cop? And so the only person left alive is the Courier. The Barfly is like the humorous ending of the scene.

[Shep]
That’s just a background character.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Don’t draw attention to it.

[Thomas]
Why does the Terminator take the Courier instead of just killing him?

[Shep]
He doesn’t have the key.

[Emily]
He could just rip his arm off and slide it off of his wrist. If we’ve made him this powerful and menacing, like would he think twice about-

[Thomas]
He wouldn’t have a problem cutting his hand off.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Did he bring a cleaver with him?

[Emily]
This is true.

[Thomas]
Well, what is he trying to do? What is the Terminator’s goal?

[Shep]
This is a very good question.

[Emily]
Trying to get the briefcase where it needs to go so he can get his monies.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
That’s his goal.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Why is the money not at the bar? If this was the fall back drop off location, why are they not prepared?

[Emily]
Did the boss sneak out the back when the cop car’d show up?

[Shep]
Or did the rival gang steal the payment?

[Thomas]
Yeah. So instead of the cop killing the gang member, when the Terminator comes in, the cop is distracted by the Terminator coming in. The gang member who has the briefcase full of money ducks out the back door, Terminator kills the cop. Maybe he just walks in calmly grabs the Courier, and they both go out the back door just in time to see the gang member speeding off.

[Shep]
I will ask this question again: What is the finale? If we have a final fight at the gang headquarters, I think the Terminator hasn’t caught up to the Courier yet. Because when the Terminator arrives, the fights are over. As in he’s going to kill everyone.

[Thomas]
So does the gang member, does the rival gang win at the bar? They take briefcase of money and they take the Courier.

[Shep]
And the MacGuffin briefcase.

[Thomas]
Right. All that goes back to the rival gang’s headquarters?

[Shep]
Okay, that would make the most sense because the Terminator doesn’t want to kill the gang he’s working for. Why did they take the Courier?

[Thomas]
Oh, there’s gotta be some lore about the Terminator and how he always finishes the job. And so that’s why people keep misconstruing the Courier being like, “I have to finish this job.” They’re like, “Oh, my god, it really is him.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
And so that explains, like, because if I’m the Terminator and I keep seeing all this shit happening, like, “You know what, fucking fuck it. Whatever.” Like, “I’m walking away.” But he won’t, because his reputation is on the line.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
He always finishes the job.

[Shep]
So why did the rival gang take the Courier?

[Thomas]
Because they want the MacGuffin as well.

[Shep]
Right, but if they had the payment there, if the other gang had the payment, why didn’t they have the key?

[Thomas]
Ah, yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
The special key?

[Thomas]
Good point. Good point.

[Emily]
Is there no time to hunt for the key? Like, is the key attached to the money briefcase? Or was just some guy holding it waiting for him? And then the real cops are actually showing up now because, you know, the neighborhood called the police because of the shootout in the bar, and so there’s just not enough time to search the bodies for the key. So they just take him with the briefcase to get out of there faster?

[Shep]
This was all so clear in my mind earlier. The earlier scenes are very clear, and there’s no doubt about what’s going on.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
And we get to the ending, and it’s like, “What actually? What does happen at the end?”

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
I mean, let’s go to the actual end end. What happens? Does the Courier live through this?

[Thomas]
I mean, he must.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right?

[Shep]
Or does the Terminator kill him to tie up loose ends?

[Thomas]
The Terminator, realistically would want to kill him.

[Emily]
But this is a movie, and we’ve all gotten emotionally attached to the Courier.

[Thomas]
I think, for me, it’s more a question of does the Terminator live or not? I think the Courier absolutely does.

[Emily]
Do you think he accidentally kills the Terminator?

[Thomas]
I was kind of thinking that. Yeah. Or causes the Terminator to be killed.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
What time of day is it? Because you said it’s like the middle of the day.

[Emily]
Like 2, 2ish. 2:30. I don’t know. That’s what I imagined it was middle of the day. Like, they got to the airport at 7am.

[Shep]
Why the middle of the day, not the middle of the night?

[Thomas]
No reason.

[Emily]
Because that’s what I imagined in my brain.

[Shep]
Well, I’m just. I’m thinking if the Courier’s goal was to travel and to experience life, one of the things he wants to do is, for example, watch the sunrise next to the Golden Gate Bridge or something like that. Some tangible thing that he had planned to do. He’s on a timeline. He wants to get this job done so he can get to the Golden Gate Bridge before dawn. Right?

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
So that’s his happy ending, is if he can finish this job that he doesn’t care about to get to this event, this happy ending event.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
So that’s his ending. Right? So-

[Thomas]
I mean, there could be a divergence that happens at the bar. They do take the MacGuffin briefcase off of him, and he does end up leaving. For some reason, they don’t kill him. I don’t know. And so he does. He goes to Golden Gate Park, which is where the final meet is arranged to happen.

[Shep]
The meet between the rival gangs, like, what?

[Thomas]
No, no, no. The Terminator’s got to, like, take somebody hostage or something, or, you know, the son of the head of the gang or whatever. I don’t know. And so they’re going to do this exchange, and they- “Well, we should meet in a public place.” And so they say, “Okay, Golden Gate Park at dawn.”

[Shep]
And that just happens to be where the Courier is? And so the gangs freak out because “Shit, the Terminator is here!” Who do they think the Terminator is?

[Thomas]
Well, then they wouldn’t freak out. If the plan is to meet the Terminator at Golden Gate Park at dawn, then they would be like, “Oh, he’s here. There he is.”

[Shep]
All right, it is an awful big coincidence, but it is kind of that kind of movie.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But if the Courier intercepts the Terminator’s goal again, there’s no way the Terminator is going to let him live.

[Thomas]
Now, the Courier’s got to accidentally help him or intentionally help him, one or the other of those. But he does some something that ends up helping the Terminator. The Terminator absolutely knows who he is. He’s been following him all day.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Maybe he has professional respect. He thinks that he’s some other courier. Oh. And, yeah, he goes, “How come I’ve never seen you before?” “This is my first day.” And he’s like, “Respect for hustling, taking over my thing.” And he thinks that this is some guy who’s trying to break into this nefarious underworld courier gig.

[Shep]
You think that he would respect that and not just take out the competition immediately? This is the Terminator, not the Cooperator.

[Emily]
Would the Terminator realize that the Courier is in way over his head, doesn’t even actually know what’s going on, so he’s like, “I don’t have to kill you. You’re not a threat to me.”

[Shep]
I think that he could realize that, but only after meeting the Courier in person.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
I think that prior to that, it could be, as Thomas said, where he thinks this is some rival courier taking over his territory, taking over his business.

[Thomas]
Now.

[Shep]
And he’s not going to let that stand. Every move, this guy is ahead of him.

[Emily]
Right. But then he meets him and is like-

[Shep]
He’s like, “Oh, no, this guy is high as fuck.”

[Emily]
“You are no threat to me, sir.”

[Thomas]
I was gonna suggest, maybe it is Jason Statham, who plays the Terminator, and he’s old and wants to retire.

[Shep]
Ah, it’s a Dread Pirate Roberts situation. I mean, it is not sustainable.

[Emily]
No.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He’s only survived through happenstance so far. It would be a great exit for the real Terminator-

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
For this stand-in to get murdered on his next gig. It’s like, “Oh, the Terminator is dead. Then no one’s gonna come and look for me, the real Terminator.” Because they think he’s dead.

[Thomas]
I kind of like the idea of setting it up for a sequel like that. Or maybe that is the sequel is the Terminator hires the Courier to get killed.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
So that he can actually retire and not have anybody. So he’s not retiring this movie, I think, is what we’re deciding. So then we- Yeah, we must go with the idea of the Terminator meets him, realizes he’s not a threat, for whatever reason. He can’t recognize… Has he ever seen the Terminator prior to this? He hasn’t has he?

[Emily]
This is his first meeting with him.

[Thomas]
Yeah. There’s got to be some something that maybe the writers figure out that indicates to the Terminator this guy is not a threat.

[Shep]
Or that it’s advantageous to let him live.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
He’s got his fingerprints all over everything.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So let’s just keep-

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s true.

[Shep]
Keep the trail following this guy after the job is.

[Thomas]
So here’s a question: Did the Terminator complete the Courier’s actual real job and has an envelope full of a couple hundred dollars, like, not a lot of money, which he then delivers to the Courier before leaving? Like, he takes the briefcase of the million dollars and gives him the envelope of a couple hundred dollars and the ticket for the flight back to, you know, Oklahoma or wherever.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
I kind of like that idea of the ending. Because then our Courier thinks he did his job and he got paid and safely goes home.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
I think that works. There are definitely some fuzzy details that the writers will need to clear up, but.

[Shep]
So what happened in the park?

[Thomas]
Yep, we’ll let the writers worry about that. Right?

[Shep]
So during the shootout, the real gang fled with the key and the money, but one of the rival gang members was behind in the standoff with the cop. When the Terminator arrives, he kills the cop and takes the rival gang member hostage. No, that’s the rival gang. Who is he taking the hostage for? It’s got to be-

[Thomas]
Right. So that’s why I think, if the rival gang has the briefcase and the MacGuffin.

[Shep]
But they don’t have the MacGuffin, do they?

[Thomas]
Why wouldn’t they? Where would the MacGuffin be? We’re trying to get the Courier out of the picture for now.

[Shep]
Oh, that’s right.

[Emily]
But he needs to have it back if he’s going to give him a briefcase of millions of dollars in exchange for the envelope of hundreds of dollars.

[Thomas]
Well, that’s why the Terminator kidnaps who turns out to be the son of the gang who has the MacGuffin and the money. So he’s able to set up an exchange in the park, and then he’ll take the briefcase of money. He’ll take the MacGuffin. He’ll deliver the MacGuffin. Well, no, he’ll deliver the MacGuffin even though he already has the money because he always finishes his job.

[Shep]
Right. I’m worried that it’s not clear. It feels very muddy at the end. I mean, it might be a problem for the writers to clarify. We have the main beats, which we’re going to see twice.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So how much movie do we need?

[Thomas]
That’s true.

[Emily]
Yeah, we didn’t need a long, extensive story.

[Shep]
Right. We need half a movie because we’re going to tell it twice.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And it’s very different movies in one half versus the other.

[Thomas]
That’s true. Is there like a denouement or a post-credit sequence or something where the Courier goes home?

[Shep]
And he gets a call, and it’s like, “We have a new job,” and it’s the gang.

[Thomas]
He opens the envelope, and it’s just coupons for Chili’s Too. That’s a $200 Chili’s Too gift card is what it is.

[Shep]
Maybe that was one of the payments that he was supposed to get. And so when they hand him the briefcase at the bar of a million dollars or whatever, he’s like, “Does this have the Chili’s gift card?” And they’re like, “No, it doesn’t.” It’s like, “I don’t want this. Where’s the Chili’s gift card? Don’t try to cheat me.”

[Thomas]
I do like if it’s specifically Chili’s Too. You can’t go to a normal Chili’s and use it. You have to get through airport security and go to the Chili’s Too. It’s just so dumb.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
All right, well, we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode about a Briefcase. Was this one a special case or just business as usual? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com, and while you’re on our website or social media, send us a message with your suggestion for an ordinary object we can use on the show. Maybe your idea will be the one to inspire Emily, Shep, and I on the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Thomas]
It’s a Chili’s.

[Shep]
It’s whoever sponsors the movie.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
They’re gonna get lots of product placement.

[Emily]
So it should be Chili’s, because they need the, you know.

[Shep]
They don’t have any money to sponsor us.

[Thomas]
Yeah, but we’ll get those sweet Free Chili’s for Life cards that I’ll definitely never use.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Because.

[Emily]
I like Chili’s.

[Thomas]
I was listening to, I don’t know if it was a regular episode of Hey Riddle Riddle. Or if it was a Patreon episode, but they were talking about Chili’s, and Erin said, “Everything at Chili’s tastes the same.”

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And I was like, “That is the most true statement about Chili’s I’ve ever heard.” It all just kind of has one flavor.

[Emily]
It’s Tex-Mex.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
It’s what it tastes like.