Bratwurst

References

• The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain
• Leavenworth, WA
• The Kids in the Hall: Sausages
• Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
• Almost Plausible: Tooth
• Almost Plausible: BBQ Grill
• Almost Plausible: Cheeseburger
• Almost Plausible: Shamrock
• Sausage Made With Bacteria From Baby Poop Isn’t as Gross as It Sounds
• Soylent Green
• The Guilt Trip
• Long Pig
• Almost Plausible: Chicken Noodle Soup
• Snoqualmie Falls Lodge
• Twin Peaks
• Twede’s Cafe
• Psych
• Serenity
• The Time Traveler’s Wife

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Thomas]
An American receives a letter from a German lawyer. A distant relative of theirs has recently passed away, and they are the sole heir to the estate, which includes a bratwurst factory in a small town outside of Nuremberg.

[Shep]
Oh, I know this one. They just need him to send a little bit of money for him to do the paperwork.

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. I’m Thomas J. Brown, and on today’s smorgasbord of an episode are Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
And F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
Happy to be here.

[Thomas]
Oktoberfest is underway, so we decided to celebrate with an episode about bratwurst. So tell me, do you two enjoy bratwurst? And if so, how do you like to eat it?

[Shep]
I don’t. And I don’t.

[Thomas]
Ha.

[Emily]
I love bratwurst. I like it all kinds of ways. I prefer it cooked in beer, well, grilled, and then you simmer it in beer, and then you grill it and then you simmer it in beer, and then you grill it, like four or five times, alternate it, and in the beer, you cook a bunch of onions so it gets all sweet and gooey.

[Thomas]
MMM. Yes.

[Emily]
And then you put it on a big, like, outdoor hoagie roll with the onions and some nice spicy brown mustard. Best way.

[Thomas]
Yeah. That’s how I like to eat them. I think we have the whole spectrum covered here because I’m like, they’re fine. I don’t know. I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other.

[Shep]
I grew up on a farm, as you both know, and we made our own sausages. And if you want to enjoy sausage, never watch it being made.

[Thomas]
Well, that’s like the whole thing about the saying, right?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yes, that saying is true for reason, because it’s true. Wait.

[Thomas]
Ha.

[Shep]
It’s a true-ism.

[Thomas]
Funny how that works. All right, I’ll pitch first today. An American receives a letter from a German lawyer. A distant relative of theirs has recently passed away, and they are the sole heir to the estate, which includes a bratwurst factory in a small town outside of Nuremberg.

[Shep]
Oh, I know this one. They just need him to send a little bit of money for him to do the paperwork.

[Thomas]
The American is a vegetarian, and they are initially disgusted by the prospect of owning a sausage factory. They travel to Germany to settle the estate and sell the factory. The factory management misunderstands their intentions and organizes a huge welcome event for the new owner. The truth is quickly sorted out, but an additional wrinkle is revealed. The conglomerate wanting to purchase the factory is only interested in the centuries-old secret recipe, and they intend to fire everyone, which would devastate the town’s economy. Due to the American’s own life circumstances, they’re sympathetic to the plight of the workers. Over the course of the film, they recognize that although they’re personally grossed out by the pork sausages, it’s a major cultural icon for the town. Together with the factory workers, they end up introducing a line of plant-based sausages. Or maybe they help the workers raise enough money to buy the plant and turn it into a co-op? Some sort of a happy ending like that.

[Emily]
I like that. It’s sort of the along the lines of, like, The Englishman Who up the Hill and Came Down a Mountain–

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Or, you know, those where they they’re there to do something else, and then they’re like, “Oh, no, I can’t fuck over the town. I love them.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
I love those stories.

[Thomas]
I have a second pitch, a bit shorter. A man loves bratwurst and eats one for lunch every day. One day he’s running late and scarfs down his bratwurst a little too quickly. He chokes on the sausage and dies. His estranged son comes to handle his estate, and the man’s ghost must find a way to heal the rift between them.

[Emily]
I don’t see why we need to continue, that’s clearly the winner.

[Shep]
It’s got ghosts. It’s got death.

[Thomas]
It’s got bratwurst.

[Emily]
Got bratwurst. It’s got a moving reunification of family.

[Thomas]
All right, Emily, let’s hear your pitches.

[Emily]
All right. A scenic German-themed northwest town is holding a bratwurst competition.

[Shep]
Now that could be any town.

[Emily]
Any town in the northwest that is Bavarian themed. So the prize is $100,000 and a five-year contract providing the bratwurst for the town’s Oktoberfest celebration.

[Thomas]
Any town.

[Emily]
Any town.

[Thomas]
Aaaany town.

[Emily]
A young widower has returned home after the death of his young wife. He’s kind of lost and doesn’t know what to do with his life, so he decides to enter this contest. But he’s never made sausages before. He goes on a quest to find the greatest bratwurst the town has ever tasted. Will he succeed? Will he overcome his grief? Does he find a new purpose in life?

[Thomas]
One thing’s for sure, he’ll never eat sausage again.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Can confirm. Now he’s never made sausage before, but you want to have him win the sausage making contest?

[Emily]
Did I say he win? I said, “Will he succeed?” Question mark.

[Thomas]
Right, he doesn’t win the competition, but he wins the hearts of the- I don’t know.

[Shep]
And he takes those hearts and he puts them into his sausage.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
So for my second one, a young man works in a local bratwurst factory to support his ailing father. His father is also obsessed with the bratwursts he brings home after his shifts. He eats more than the young man can feasibly provide for him, and the guy slowly goes crazy. And one day he snaps, killing his father and grinding him into the bratwursts. He sneaks the brats that he made into the factory and sends them out into the public. And he’s exhilarated by this act. So he begins killing transients as they pass through town, and making sausage out of them. He’s only caught when he kidnaps his childhood sweetheart and holds her prisoner, demanding she marry him or become sausage herself.

[Thomas]
And what’s the title of this movie?

[Shep]
Love at Wurst Sight.

[Emily]
Ha.

[Thomas]
Aay!

[Shep]
Is this the Kids in the Hall sketch that you two keep talking about that I haven’t seen?

[Thomas]
Maybe.

[Emily]
Maybe that’s the inspiration. To be fair, the Kids in the Hall sketch stops with the father eating the sausages.

[Shep]
Because it seems like that. Or Demon Barber Of-

[Thomas]
Sweetie Todd.

[Shep]
Yeah Sweeney Todd.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, it’s a combo.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Two excellent stories merged together into one.

[Shep]
Yes. We’ve already established there are no completely original-

[Emily]
No new ideas. All right, Shep, what do you got for us?

[Shep]
Okay. A young American food blogger on a gap year trip through Europe is surprised to discover that the bratwurst she ate from a roadside stall was made from a dragon.

[Emily]
Hahaha!

[Shep]
Are you saying this is not a completely original idea?

[Emily]
Hey, I didn’t pitch Barbecue Grill 3 this time.

[Shep]
I thought of it. I went back and looked at Barbecue, and I was, “Hmm.” Okay, how about this one? Two bratwurst food truck owners face off during a cooking battle with a hefty cash prize. No, that one’s also been done? Okay, how about this? A German living abroad in the United States comes home and falls in love with an American woman living in Germany who runs a small-town inn/bratwurst restaurant. Okay, since we’ve established that there are no completely original ideas, the bar is sufficiently lowered to give my real pitches.

[Thomas]
Alright.

[Shep]
A group of separated former friends come back together to go on a road trip to fulfill a dying friend’s last wish, which is to have a final bratwurst at their favorite Oktoberfest, perhaps in some Bavarian-themed northwest town, which is, unfortunately, a week and 1000 miles away. So the group sets off in the dying friend’s dilapidated RV and madcap hijinks ensue.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I like a good road trip movie.

[Emily]
That’s a good one.

[Shep]
Standard road trip movie.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Love it.

[Shep]
Okay, how about this one? A big city reporter travels to a small town to do a puff piece on a bratwurst company that is suddenly blowing up nationally. What is driving this bratwurst craze? And does anyone really care? But the reporter hears whispers of the secret ingredient…

[Emily]
It’s people.

[Shep]
Making diners go gaga for these indie sausages. It’s not people. That’s the twist.

[Emily]
It’s transients.

[Shep]
So, do either of you remember the famous 2014 study by these scientists in Spain that were looking for, so, ways to ferment sausages, bacteria to use, and they used some baby poop?

[Thomas]
What?

[Shep]
Do you guys not know this story?

[Thomas]
No.

[Shep]
Pretty famous. So they’re extracting the probiotic bacteria from baby poop.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
They’re not putting baby poop itself in.

[Thomas]
Oh, I see.

[Shep]
In fact, most of our probiotics come from human feces.

[Thomas]
Okay. MMM.

[Shep]
Surprise.

[Emily]
It’s poop.

[Shep]
It’s not poop, but it is derived from poop.

[Emily]
It’s poop adjacent.

[Shep]
I mean, but also, plants are grown in manure, so.

[Thomas]
Right, so what you’re saying is Soylent Green is poople.

[Shep]
Because it’s not transients. It’s it’s poop. That’s the soil. It’s so good. Thomas.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Is there one of these that-

[Shep]
All right, so which one of these is jumping out at us.

[Thomas]
Oh, my.

[Emily]
Well, I feel like the three of us may or may not have experience with a small Bavarian-themed northwest town, so perhaps we should pick one that we could easily set there because then we can visualize the area and work the story around what we know.

[Shep]
Yeah, I agree. Write what you know.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So that’s all of these.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
So, Emily, your contest one, it could be Battle of the Brats, right?

[Emily]
Yeah. What do we like? Because I feel like road trips or contests. We enjoy those movies.

[Shep]
I mean, I think we all had small towns.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Both of you had dead fathers.

[Emily]
Because apparently bratwurst means dead dad.

[Shep]
Does it?

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
I thought I was learning something. See, that’s going to go into my brain and I’ll forget the context years from now, like, “Oh, did you know, speaking of crazy translations, bratwurst means ‘dead father’ in German. It’s crazy, right?”

[Emily]
Brat is father and wurst is dead. No, just so you know, brat actually means finely chopped meat and wurst means sausage. So that I don’t confuse you and make a mistake of talking about that at a party.

[Thomas]
We’re going to be at some party and Shep will be- we won’t be talking with Shep. He’ll be in a different conversation going, “Actually, did you know bratwurst-?” And we’re both gonna, our ears will prick up. We’ll be like “No, no no.”

[Emily]
“No, that’s not what it means.”

[Shep]
“Why do they keep tackling me?”

[Thomas]
We could mix together some of these and have instead of the dad is dead, we have an estranged father and son who go on a road trip for their favorite bratwurst for some reason. So a little bit like The Guilt Trip.

[Shep]
But at the end, having been driven insane by his crazy dad, the kid who’s a terminally ill murders his father.

[Thomas]
Right. And then enters those sausages into the town’s local competition.

[Shep]
And gets caught immediately, because this isn’t the first time that people have chopped up a person and entered the- One taste of the judges go, “Okay, get the cops.”

[Thomas]
“We know.” Yeah.

[Emily]
“We know long pig when we taste it.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
I mean, I would say there’s not one of these that’s like, “This is the one!”

[Emily]
Right. There’s not one that I’m like, “I’m dead set against this one.” Or “I have to do this one.”

[Thomas]
They’re all about, kind of, how I feel about bratwursts. They’re all just like that.

[Shep]
If we could just finally chop all of these up and put them together. So I like the small town.

[Emily]
I like the estranged father.

[Thomas]
And I like the road trip. So there we go.

[Shep]
I realize I didn’t put all the road trip details in there. One of the friends had become vegetarian, and so she’s not into it as much as, like she was, maybe, the first one that stopped going to the Oktoberfest with the rest of the friends.

[Thomas]
You can only eat so many pretzels.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
The bathroom lines after the beer are so long, it’s not worth drinking anymore. Although I did come up with a good system the last time I went, and it was: go to the beer line, get the beer and just stand in the bathroom line and drink my beer. Because by the time I had to pee-

[Thomas]
There you go.

[Emily]
I was at the bathroom.

[Shep]
You’ll be at the front of the line.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Smart.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Pro tip for anyone going to Oktoberfest. So in mine, they’re coming back together, but what if this is like their last Oktoberfest and one of them’s dying? But he hasn’t told the others. He just wants to throw a big party like they used to when they were in college.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
But they’ve moved on. A couple of them have kids. They don’t come for all three days of the weekend. They come up for the middle day or whatever. And so he wants to have this big blowout before he dies. And it’s just a whimper. It’s just… Too depressing?

[Emily]
No, I had an idea.

[Shep]
Oh, go ahead.

[Emily]
I was thinking that they’re all college friends, so he’s actually from the town.

[Shep]
Oh, yes! You have him from the town so that his dad can also still be in the town.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Exactly!

[Thomas]
There you go.

[Shep]
Yes. Good.

[Thomas]
There you go.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because I was like, he could be like, “We’re going to go up to dad’s cabin.”

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
And they’re like, “Do you even talk to your dad?” But he’s kind of making amends because he’s dying. But he doesn’t want to tell them that.

[Shep]
Oh, he’s making amends because he wants to use the cabin. And it’s like, it doesn’t matter I stormed out of the house at 17 or whatever and went off to college and never came back. And I don’t like my dad. He was abusive when I was a kid or whatever, and I don’t really want to make amends, but I’m going to quote, unquote, “make amends” with my father so that I can use the cabin for Oktoberfest because it doesn’t matter because I’m dying right after. So-

[Emily]
“We’re going to have Oktoberfest. I’m going to die in my sleep. You guys are going to go home. It’s- great weekend plans.”

[Shep]
He doesn’t tell them.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
I didn’t think.

[Emily]
That’s his plan.

[Shep]
He’s not going to see Christmas. That’s how close this is.

[Emily]
Okay. Secret dying. I’m good with that.

[Shep]
Secret dying.

[Emily]
Secret dying.

[Thomas]
Does he have a partner?

[Shep]
Do you want him to have a partner? Or is it more tragic if that’s one of his many regrets?

[Thomas]
I think the benefit of him having a partner is that there’s a person he can talk to so that his thoughts can be expressed out loud, so the audience can know that he’s dying and know what’s going on. There can be a little bit of tension there where the partner is like, “Why aren’t you telling people? Why are you doing this to them?” It’s a way for us to get more into his head about why he isn’t telling people that.

[Shep]
So I was thinking that would be the dad, but if he’s not really reconnecting with his dad, then having a partner makes more sense. And then you can show that he’s got a really good relationship with his partner who is comforting him and going along with this crazy hairbrained scheme to have this party with his friends who don’t know he’s dying and aren’t that close-

[Emily]
Mmhmm.

[Shep]
Because they all think they’ll see him again later.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Some of them are slightly annoyed because it’s kind of an inconvenient time of year for them. The ones with kids.

[Shep]
Right. School has just started up again.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yes. “We’re getting ready for halloween. It’s a busy time for us. You don’t understand. You don’t have kids. You don’t understand.”

[Shep]
Oh. “When you have kids, you’ll understand.”

[Emily]
Oh yeah.

[Thomas]
Wow.

[Emily]
Now I’m just imagining him being gay for no good reason at all.

[Thomas]
Well, I had thought that too, but.

[Shep]
Because it’s a sausage party.

[Thomas]
Hey.

[Emily]
I just was like, he’s gay. Right? That’s his character. I don’t think it matters, but since it doesn’t matter-

[Thomas]
Although the “When you have kids” line is- not impossible, but less likely of a thing for someone to say necessarily.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Mmm.

[Thomas]
Although maybe he’s got super supportive friends who are just like, “Of course you’re going to have kids. Everybody has kids. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you won’t have kids.”

[Emily]
That’s why I think you could change the line to “You wouldn’t understand, you don’t have kids.” I think either way, it could be hurtful.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
If he’s gay. It’s hurtful if she’s just like “You’ll never understand. You don’t have kids.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Because she uses never.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I think that that feels a little more intentionally hurtful-

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
As opposed to the other one, where it’s just sort of like the normal assumption that everybody has about hetero-couples is that you’re going to have kids because that’s how things work in our society. That’s what’s expected of you. So, yeah, there’s this, like, you’re not there yet, but when you get there, because we just assume.

[Emily]
Because that’s what happens.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
So he’s a guy with a female partner.

[Shep]
But all his friends are gay.

[Thomas]
So is there maybe another friend, another couple that’s like getting engaged? Like they have some big positive life announcement that they’re like, “Oh, this would be a great time to tell all our friends.” And it just creates a little more tension. Like, if they say their thing first-

[Emily]
MMM.

[Thomas]
Now he’s even more reluctant to be like, “Oh, I don’t want to bring this whole thing down.”

[Emily]
“I don’t want to rain on their parade.” Yeah.

[Shep]
One of them can be pregnant so they can’t drink. So they already are not super into Oktoberfest because they can’t really partake. But they do want to share the good news. And so the pregnant couple and the couple with kids can start to connect over “Here’s what you need to know,” and all that.

[Emily]
Oh, yes.

[Shep]
And so he’s left out. So I think there is a will he/won’t he, throughout the movie. Will he tell them at all or not?

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I think some of his friends have to leave before the end of the weekend-

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
So that if he does tell them at the end, you can have them come back and have a heartwarming thing.

[Emily]
Do they leave out of anger? Is there a fight?

[Shep]
No, they leave because they’re busy.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Maybe that’s the one with kids. They’re like, “We’ll come out for a Saturday” or “We’ll come out for Sunday, but we’re not going to be here for Monday” or “We’re not going to be here for a Friday.”

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Whatever it is, however direction you’re doing.

[Emily]
“We’ll come Friday night and then we’ll leave Saturday afternoon, or Sunday morning.”

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
“We’ll leave Sunday morning because we’ve got to make sure we’re back and get the kids ready for school tomorrow.”

[Shep]
That’s all three days. That’s Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

[Thomas]
I think they should leave like Saturday.

[Emily]
Saturday afternoon.

[Thomas]
And there should be another couple who’s arriving on Saturday. So it’s like they’re going to miss each other.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Or their plan is to leave as soon as that other couple shows. Just say a quick high/bye, take off.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. They waited for the other, the last people to arrive and that’s their signal to leave.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So this is like, he’s got five minutes where all of his friends are there and he doesn’t do it. And the one set of friends leaves. And so his partner is like, “Are you sure? Are you really sure about this decision?”

[Thomas]
Oh, that would be when the pregnancy announcement gets made, maybe.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
He’s ramping up to, “Okay, I’m going to tell everybody once we’re all here.” And before he can, they’re like, “Hey, real quick, we just want to let everybody know we’re pregnant.” And he’s like, “Fuck.”

[Emily]
Because he should plan, because it’s bratwurst, he should plan the big bratwurst cookout for that Saturday afternoon. Because he knows the one couple has to leave Saturday afternoon, and the other couple can’t get there, so they have to stay at least till the cookout’s over. And that’s where he’s going to make it. That’s the plan originally.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
And then the couple that arrives is like, “We’re pregnant.”

[Shep]
Right. He’s planning to tell them after the cookout.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Everyone’s together, maybe everyone’s eating. And he’ll be able to tell them. But as they’re preparing, that’s when the couple goes, “Oh, I can’t have any beer because…” and then big announcement.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
So is there a couple that stays the entire time?

[Thomas]
I think so.

[Emily]
Or a friend at least?

[Shep]
Yeah. His best friend from college.

[Thomas]
Maybe that’s sort of the decision he comes to is, it’s just all a little too hectic and the mood is wrong. But at the end of the weekend, his best friend is still there and he’s like, “Hey, man, I got to tell you this.”

[Emily]
Yeah, I think his best friend notices things, though. And he keeps asking, “Is everything okay?”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
“Because you’re talking to your dad again. We’re up at the cabin. This was kind of out of the blue.” He doesn’t, not thinking he’s dying of cancer, but midlife crisis.

[Shep]
He knows something’s up.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
He knows some things up. Are they getting divorced?

[Shep]
That’s why he stays extra-long. Because he’s waiting for his friend to spill the beans. Because he knows there’s something. He doesn’t know what it is.

[Emily]
Yeah. He can’t put his finger on it, but he knows there’s a problem.

[Thomas]
Yeah. What’s the overall conflict of this story is just that he is dying and he isn’t sure how to tell his friends. I think there’s some other thing he wants that he’s not getting. Right?

[Emily]
Is it just the idea that they’ve grown apart so much that they’re not the same? The coming to terms with them not being the same people they were when they were younger and learning how to navigate their friendships as adults and then having to deal with this thing?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Or is that too vague?

[Shep]
I think he’s full of regrets. He didn’t get to have kids. His career was still growing. He didn’t get to retire. His plan for life is being cut off real early, and so he has regrets.

[Thomas]
So it would be interesting if it was some sort of a genetic type of thing so he could have more tension with his dad that way. But also it’s a thing where he has decided, like, he physically could have kids, but has chosen not to because he doesn’t want to pass this thing on. But I like the idea of that scene where he’s trying to convince his friends to stay, like, “No, it’s Saturday. You’re going to miss the best part.” And they’re like, “No, we got to go with our kids. And when you have kids, you’ll know,” and he just gets really upset at that and just leaves, and everyone’s like, “What the fuck was that about?”

[Shep]
No, I think he’s covering. He wouldn’t let them know that he’s upset. He would be internally upset. You could see his partner notice how upset he is and hold his hand-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But he is putting on a brave face for his friends. I like the idea that it’s a genetic thing and maybe it’s what killed his mom.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So his mom’s not in the picture. He’s separated from his dad because his dad was upset at losing his wife.

[Emily]
Yeah. His dad never got over it and wasn’t a great dad after she died.

[Shep]
Right. Maybe he wasn’t ever a great dad, but his mom was great, and so it was fine while she was alive-

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
But then she died, and so there was always a chance that he would get whatever it is. Like, it’s not for sure, but there’s a chance. And so maybe that’s one reason that he doesn’t have kids, and maybe another is he just wouldn’t want to have kids and leave them like his mom left him. And he had a kind of a shitty life after that. So there’s that tension between him and his dad. And then if he tells his dad or his dad finds out, then there’s that additional component. Like his dad is upset that he lost his wife and that his son reminds him of his wife that he lost, that he still misses, and now his son is dying too? Like, the dad’s going to have nothing. He’s going to have no family left.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
His plan for life also did not work out.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Is the dad actually a bad dad? Or is it one of those things where, like, at a time where the kid needed him or wanted him or whatever, he was dealing with his own shit, and so it was like, in that moment, he wasn’t great. And so he wants this- Has he been trying to have a relationship or, I don’t know. Is the estrangement a two-way street? I guess, is what I’m asking. Or is this a thing where the son is like, “You suck, I’m out of here,” and just never talks to him again?

[Emily]
I feel like it should be a “You suck, I’m out of here”, and that his dad just doesn’t push it because he’s already lost his wife.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I mean, in that situation, the son is kind of already dead.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And so now he’s coming back into the dad’s life to quote/unquote, “make up”. And so the dad is excited only to find out he’s about to die for real. So he’s going to lose the son twice.

[Shep]
That’s extra tragic.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I feel like the dad should maybe just have been really distant and cold and not like abusive. Just not-

[Thomas]
And the dad has his regrets about being that way at a time when the kid needed him.

[Emily]
Yeah, just neglectful and-

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He didn’t know how to be anything else because the mom took care of everything.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
And the mom died when the kid was like 12 or 13.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
So he’s like, “You’re basically grown. What can I do?”

[Shep]
“You were never there.” “I was always working.”

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
“Down at the sausage factory.”

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
“I would don my lederhosen every day.”

[Thomas]
I think that actually brings up a good point. Are we bratwursty enough in this story? Because right now it feels like this story could happen around anything. We don’t need it to be bratwurst. Why is bratwurst?

[Shep]
I thought that’s how all of our stories were.

[Emily]
Some of our stories are just like that, and we don’t care because we love the story enough that we’re like, “It’s in there enough. We’ve talked about it five times.”

[Thomas]
Is that the rule?

[Emily]
That’s why it’s in a German themed town. They’re having a bratwurst cookout. They have a whole big spiel about bratwursts at the beginning-

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
About how the mom chick, they’re razzing her because the last time she went before they had kids, she ate like 16 bratwursts and had so much beer she just vomited all over the mayor of the town or something like that.

[Thomas]
Oh, god.

[Emily]
Some ridiculously embarrassing story for her.

[Shep]
She threw up in the guest room and it still smells like bratwurst. It’s soaked into the floorboards.

[Thomas]
Still smells like beer and onions in there.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Yes. And they never let her live that down. And she’s angry because she is a mom now. She has responsibilities. She is mature.

[Thomas]
Does she throw up again?

[Emily]
Yeah, of course. But this time it’s outside.

[Shep]
I see. I thought, like, her husband or her partner would be there with a bucket. He’s ready.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
This isn’t his first rodeo.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
She’s still like this.

[Emily]
I like that better.

[Thomas]
That’s funny.

[Emily]
She can’t hold the liquor like she used to.

[Shep]
Yeah, it’s worse now.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So I want the best friend, when he finds out at the end, to get in contact with everyone else that’s already left and get them all to come back. And I want them all to come back because to them it’s serious. Like, if they had known, of course they would have stayed the whole weekend.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And the only reason they didn’t is because they’re adults.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And it’s fine to not see your friends for a while-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Because that’s how adulting works.

[Thomas]
So with that in mind, what’s the timeline for this? Obviously it starts on a Friday night. Right?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Is the lowest low the one couple with the kids has left, maybe another couple has left or somebody else has left, or they’ve decided to go into town and party or something like that. Like they’re not going to stay and hang out with him.

[Emily]
No, he wants to go into town and party, but the one who’s pregnant is just like, “I think I’m just going to take a nap. I’m ready to turn in early.” And the husband’s just like, “I’m going to stay with her.” And so he’s been thrown in his face he’s not going to have kids. They’ve left and then now nobody wants to go to town and the whole weekend’s ruined and it was stupid to bring everybody here. And he just kind of has a big hissy fit.

[Shep]
Does he have a hissy fit? Both of you keep wanting him to break down from-

[Emily]
Don’t you think the stress of all of it would make him break down at some point?

[Shep]
No, he’s got that supportive partner by his side.

[Emily]
Oh, I was just trying to come up with the lowest low.

[Shep]
All I can think of is like, the weekend is not going how he planned, just like his life is not going how he planned. And so he is lamenting the state of things with his partner, like in their room, and she’s supporting him and trying to cheer him up. He got to see his friends. Everyone did come out. I mean, they’re not going to party, but also they’re in their 40s or 30s or whatever. They’re not in their 20s is the point.

[Emily]
Yeah, she could point that out. She’s like, “Before you knew about this, we wouldn’t have gone to town anyway. We would have just hung out here. We would have had quiet game nights with fancy wine and cheeses. We’re in our 40s. We don’t go stand in line for bratwurst and beer and then go stand in another line for 3 hours to pee. That’s not our lives anymore. We’re not 20.”

[Shep]
Right. That’s what they did when they were younger because there was nothing else to do. But now there’s the Internet, and then they have their phones. Like, you don’t need to go into town to be entertained.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Just wondering, with his lowest low, is it is that when he tells the best friend? And is that when the story turns around?

[Emily]
Well, has he told his dad yet? Like, is his dad coming to check on him, making sure they have enough wood for the weekend?

[Shep]
Oh, I like that the dad keeps showing up and trying to be part of his life, but he doesn’t really want to be part of his dad’s life.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
I mean, he could go into town on his own because that was what he wanted to do. And goes to the bar in the small town where they live and the dad is there.

[Emily]
Because maybe his lowest low can be, like, revealing to his father what’s happening.

[Shep]
So do you want him to tell his father first or his friend first?

[Emily]
I feel like his father because they’re related.

[Shep]
But he’s not close to his father. He’s close to his friend.

[Emily]
Yeah. He’s close to his friend, so I think he knows deep down he’s going to have that support. He’s going to have what he needs from his friend. He doesn’t know if he’s going to have what he needs from his father. And he’s just maybe instead of like an angry breakdown, he just has an emotionally sad breakdown and he just can’t hold it in anymore when he’s talking to his dad in town.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And he brings up the conversation of, “You weren’t there for me. I lost a mom. Yeah, you lost your wife, but I lost my mother, and I was alone.” And then maybe just spills it out “And I’m dying, and I still feel alone because I don’t have a parent to comfort me.”

[Shep]
I think his dad should be telling him all the plans he has now that the son is back. Like, we can do this and we can do this, and on Christmas we can do this, and next summer we can do this, and all that stuff. Oh, maybe he’s showing signs of the disease as well, like his hands tremor or something.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So he’s trying to hold his beer and it’s shaking and maybe the dad sees it but doesn’t comment on it. Like the dad’s in denial. Like the dad probably knows because he saw his wife go through this. And so maybe he’s trying to comfort himself by talking about all of his plans with his son now that they’re together, because he doesn’t want to hear the news that he’s going to hear.

[Emily]
He has plans for fly fishing in the spring.

[Shep]
Right. “I always wanted to teach you how to fly fish, and now we can do that.”

[Emily]
“I’m going to make up for not being there when you were a kid.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
“I’m going to be there for you now.”

[Shep]
I just like for the record to point out that I wanted to make a comedy this episode.

[Emily]
We haven’t had a good heartfelt tear jerker in a while.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah. Chicken soup.

[Thomas]
Chicken Noodle Soup.

[Shep]
Chicken Noodle Soup.

[Emily]
Is that a good lowest low to have him break down? Have his dad kind of realize but-

[Shep]
I don’t think that he breaks down.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
I think his dad breaks down. I think that the main character is just sort of Zen and has come to accept his death-

[Emily]
Okay. He’s come to terms with all of it.

[Shep]
His entire life, he knew this was possible. So it’s not coming out of nowhere.

[Emily]
Does his supportive partner try to manipulate his relationship with his father? Does she try to be like, “You know, he went through this before. He’s going to know what to do.” Trying to have him make a real amends with him?

[Shep]
A real mends?

[Emily]
A real amends.

[Shep]
Is that a- part of amends? And then you have real right in the middle because English does that.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I know.

[Thomas]
Is she trying to establish a relationship with the father herself to get a better sense of like, “What should I expect? And what was it like when you went through it?”

[Emily]
Yeah, because maybe that’s how he part of how he pieces it together. She starts asking a lot of questions about his wife.

[Shep]
I don’t think that she would betray her partner like that because her partner does not want anyone to know. And she’s going to respect that because she’s a supportive partner, even though in her opinion, he’s being an idiot and he’s suffering through all this stuff.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
And she’s like, “Gee, if only we knew someone who knew about all this stuff that we could ask, that lives here.”

[Emily]
I guess that’s what I meant by her manipulating it is her always doing things like that to him, that’s like, “Hey-“

[Shep]
Right. But she’s not letting the dad know.

[Emily]
No, but just the partner-

[Shep]
She’s letting her partner know that he should talk to his dad.

[Emily]
Yeah. Maybe she should at some point even say, “Maybe I could use his help.”

[Shep]
Yeah, that’s a good one.

[Emily]
“Because I’m going to go through this too.”

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
“And I’m trying my hardest to be here for you and help you, but what- I have to do it too.”

[Shep]
Right. She can also have a breakdown.

[Emily]
Yeah. She can have the breakdown.

[Shep]
The only one who’s not having a breakdown is the guy who’s dying, and that’s not fair to everyone else.

[Emily]
That’s right.

[Shep]
How selfish of him to be so fucking calm.

[Emily]
That should be the best friend speech at the end.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
That’s not the end.

[Emily]
No. Before he calls everybody else. That should be his- “You should have told us. They wouldn’t have left.”

[Thomas]
Well, speaking of breaks and leaving, let’s take a quick break, and when we come back, we’ll figure out the rest of our story for Bratwurst.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we are back. Now, before the break, we were talking about the best friend finding out. How does the best friend find out? One of the thoughts that I had had is: he’s just been talking to his father and maybe learning more about his father’s perspective, or definitely learning more about his father’s perspective when his parents were going through the same thing. So does that sort of inspire him to open up a little bit more to the people around him? Maybe the mom was trying to play it cool and act like everything was normal and that actually was worse for the dad and for their friends. I mean, he would have no probably concept of what their friends thought about the whole situation.

[Shep]
Oh, he thinks his mom just died suddenly, and so at least he knows he’s dying, so he has that advantage.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
And his dad was like, “Of course she knew. She just didn’t tell you.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
“We were protecting you.”

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And that was traumatic for him. He had no way to prepare.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
And so he realizes, like, “I can’t wait. I need to tell my friends. They need that. I wish I had that. And I am withholding that from them.”

[Emily]
“I was denied that. I shouldn’t deny others.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. So then does he come back? It’s night, everyone’s asleep, and he comes back, and he knocks on his friend’s door. Is that when he decides to tell his friend? And he, like, wakes him up? He’s like, “Hey, man, I got to tell you something.”

[Shep]
I think he comes back to tell everyone and everyone’s in bed because they’re old, and so he doesn’t tell anyone because it’s the middle of the night. “I’ll tell them in the morning.” And he gets up, and most of his friends have already left. Like, in his mind, we’re going to have, like, a big final breakfast,

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
But there’s a lot of traveling to do. And so they got up at the crack of dawn and packed up and left, and he was still sleeping. And so the only people left at the cabin are his partner and his best friend.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And they’re already in the kitchen, like, having coffee when he wakes up.

[Shep]
Right. “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” He could say that.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Okay. I’m coming around on this story.

[Thomas]
So does he tell the friend in front of the partner or.

[Emily]
No, he takes him out to the deck.

[Shep]
His friend’s leaving. His friend’s leaving. Oh, no. His friend knows something’s up.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
That’s why he’s staying. That’s right.

[Emily]
His friend knows something up, so he’s staying. So he’s like, “Let’s go have our coffee on the deck.” Or she suggests it. Maybe she’s like, “This is the time.”

[Shep]
This is the window.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right. Because has she been sort of nudging him this whole weekend? Like, “You got to tell them. You got to tell them.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
She’s been nudging him about everybody.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
She’s supportive. She’s not going to tell for him.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
It’s not her news to tell. But he should do it.

[Shep]
She really wants to be able to talk about it, so it would be nice if he told them.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because she needs to have the support system for when he’s gone.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right. So she’s like, “Oh, I’m going to go take a shower,” or something and leave.

[Emily]
Yeah. She’s like-

[Thomas]
She finds an excuse to leave the room. Yeah, that’s good. So the friend finds out. He tells the friend, and they have a brief conversation about it. The friend is like, “Well, we got to get everybody back, man.”

[Shep]
I don’t know. I don’t think he tells him that. He’s like, “You should have told us all when we were all here.” And he doesn’t. I think the friend gets everyone else to come back on his own.

[Emily]
I think the friend leaves, and the guy thinks, “Well, now he’s pissed because I kept the secret.”

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. Because he yelled at him. They had a fight.

[Emily]
But he leaves to go get the others.

[Shep]
Right. But he doesn’t say that.

[Emily]
But he’s hurt that he wasn’t told, but he’s like, “We still have to rally.”

[Shep]
Right. “I love you, but you should have told me, and you were selfish.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. This is Sunday morning when this happens.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
So he thinks the friend’s gone with the rest of them.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Where does he actually go?

[Shep]
To the airport. The friend races to the airport to stop them. No, maybe you establish early that there’s no cell signal at the cabin.

[Thomas]
There you go.

[Shep]
And so he leaves, but really to get a cell signal so he can call everyone.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So the pregnant couple, they just come back. They’re an hour or two out of town. It’s not hard for them to come back.

[Emily]
Well, they had stopped at the diner to get breakfast because she got super hungry on the way out.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. And then the other couple, we gonna Zoom, call, you know?

[Shep]
They get on a plane and come right back.

[Emily]
I mean, we could do that.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
How small is this town? They have their own airport?

[Emily]
Yeah. It’s a tourist destination. They charter a helicopter. I don’t understand the problem.

[Shep]
This is the problem with, like, wealthy people making movies. It’s like, “Oh, I just have my butler drive me there.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. Oh, sorry, we totally forgot to mention, this takes place in the future. So they just teleport-

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
There you go.

[Thomas]
Back to the local teleportation hub and-

[Emily]
Okay, so say it is Leavenworth and they just live in Seattle, right? What is that, a three hour drive?

[Shep]
I don’t know. I didn’t know there was going to be a geography quiz.

[Thomas]
To drive across the state is like four, four and a half hours, so yeah, it’s feasible they could come back.

[Emily]
So he calls them first so they’re already on their way back.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And then he calls the pregnant couple because they had just left, and she’s like, “Oh, we’re still in town. I had a mad craving for huckleberry pancakes.”

[Thomas]
Or they’re in, like, North Bend. Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
They’re in, like, a town or two over or something. They’re not far away. An hour’s drive.

[Emily]
And she’s like “I had a craving for Tom’s huckleberry pancakes” in fucking Roslyn or something.

[Thomas]
Right. They went to the Snoqualmie Lodge because they’ve always seen the bags of pancake mix and they wanted to try them in real life. These are probably all on the wrong highway.

[Emily]
There is a town outside of North Bend and they have the best cherry pie in the world. So she has a craving for the best cherry pie in the world. And then we get our little Twin Peaks reference in there because it’s the Twin Peaks Diner.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. Boy, you would not go through Snoqualmie or North Bend. They are way out of the way.

[Emily]
They are so out of the way.

[Thomas]
You might go down to, like, Ellensburg or like Wenatchee.

[Shep]
Here’s the thing about movies, though. They don’t always have to make geographical sense. So you could just say whatever you want-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And then that just gets people talking about “Um, actually, that wouldn’t work.” And that’s what you want. You want people to talk about your movie, even if it’s to nitpick little details. So intentionally put those little minor details that people that don’t know won’t care.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, because I’ve seen lots of footage of Yakima that looks a lot like British Columbia in movies.

[Thomas]
That’s like on Psych where it takes place in Southern California and is very clearly shot in Vancouver.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]
The beach looks nothing like the California beach. Like, all the wrong kinds of trees. Yeah, it’s very funny. All right, so anyway, the friends all come back.

[Emily]
Right. Is he sulking at this point, or is he still very Zen about everything? Or he and his-

[Thomas]
He’s probably Zen. He’s probably like, “Fuck it, let’s just pack and go home. Like, this whole thing’s been a disappointment. I just want to get home. I just want to be home.”

[Shep]
Right. The refrigerator is full of food because he had planned these big meals with everyone here, but that never happened except for the one cookout. But nobody stayed for big breakfast. Nobody stayed for big lunch on Sunday.

[Emily]
He’s like, “Let’s just pack up. It’s like my life. This didn’t go how he wanted it to go, but let’s just enjoy-“

[Shep]
Right. He tells her she was right, and he should have told his friends sooner.

[Emily]
Yeah. And she goes, “Was I? Was I?”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She’s like, just “I know I was right.”

[Thomas]
“What? What? Say that again. What?”

[Shep]
No, she’s supportive. “You don’t have to tell me I was right. I already knew that.”

[Thomas]
So were they in the car? They’re, like, going down the driveway and then car comes up the driveway.

[Shep]
Oh, is that how tightly you want to have the happy Hollywood ending? They crash and he dies in the car wreck. Surprise!

[Emily]
I thought maybe he would be tying up some loose ends around the house or cabin. Some things he’s got to take care of before they can head out, like tarp the wood or something to where he’s not in the house or in the main living space.

[Thomas]
Right. He’s got to, we got to get him away from there. We got to give his friends time to come.

[Emily]
Yeah. So they come and they come in the house, and we see them interact with his partner, and she’s really happy because now they know. So now she can cry in front of them and have that sort of cathartic breakdown of, “I’m not alone anymore.”

[Shep]
Right. She’s been hiding it this whole time.

[Emily]
This whole time. And they’re like, “I’m so sorry, you poor thing.” And she’s like “Me?” because she’s still supportive.

[Shep]
Yeah, I think they’re saying that to her.

[Emily]
Yeah, they’re like, “You poor thing. How can you?” And she’s like “Me?” And then maybe they ask where he’s at? And she’s like, “Oh, he went to go do that chore down the hill. He’ll be back in, like, ten minutes or something.” Then they start making the lunch, the big fancy lunch. They pull the ingredients out so that when he comes back, there’s food.

[Thomas]
But do we see that or is that just what happens? And we follow him? Like, are we keeping it from the audience that his friend has called everyone back? So he just thinks like, “Oh, everyone bailed on me. This sucks.”

[Emily]
So what do we see him doing?

[Shep]
Yeah. What is the chore that takes him away from the cabin?

[Thomas]
For 3 hours.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I was thinking like 20 minutes, half hour tops.

[Thomas]
Well, but I mean, he’s got to get his friends back from Seattle or Spokane or wherever they live.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah. But-

[Shep]
He doesn’t have to be doing the chore the whole time.

[Emily]
No, they discuss what they’re going to do, whether they should stay or not. She showers, he reads a book, they watch a movie, and then he’s like, “Hey, maybe we should just go home.”

[Shep]
Or maybe he goes into town to talk to his dad.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
You have a follow up conversation.

[Emily]
Then I could see the point in following him to have him have that follow up conversation with his dad.

[Thomas]
Oh, they go visit the mom’s grave.

[Shep]
Ooh.

[Thomas]
And it’s an impromptu thing. It’s not a planned thing. He goes, so the friend- Okay, the best friend leaves to make the call. He doesn’t know. He thinks the best friend is just gone.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And he’s like, “Fuck it, let’s go.” He says to her, “You pack up. I can’t deal with this anymore. I just want to go home. I’m going to go see my dad,” or whatever.

[Shep]
Oh. I think that it’s not impromptu on his part. I think the dad comes out to the cabin to get him, to say, “Let’s go visit your mom’s grave.”

[Thomas]
Right at that moment, though, that the friend is gone?

[Shep]
The friend’s gone for a while. What’s the objection to going and seeing the mom’s grave?

[Thomas]
It feels like a weird coincidence.

[Emily]
But his dad just had this whole revelation that his son is dying and that their relationship is shit because he was a bad mourner and didn’t take his son into consideration. So now he’s trying to make amends. So he’s going up because it’s Sunday and that’s what he does on Sundays. He doesn’t tell anybody, but he goes and talks to his wife every Sunday. So he invites him on to his Sunday ritual.

[Thomas]
Yes. And I like this because one of the things that the dad regrets is not taking a more active role. And so this is him, this is the sort of closing of his arc. So yeah, okay.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
I do like that.

[Shep]
Yeah. The dad wants the son to come because when else is he going to have the opportunity?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Because he’s going to die soon and he doesn’t live here.

[Thomas]
So the night before, the dad’s talking about all the big plans. But he knows.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Does the son know that the dad knows?

[Thomas]
It’s never explicitly stated, but I think they can all tell.

[Emily]
Is it just one of those they have a conversation at the grave that’s not really about that.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
It’s the Captain Mal and Zoë conversation at the end of Serenity.

[Shep]
I don’t remember.

[Emily]
Oh, they’re talking about the ship.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah.

[Emily]
“Is Serenity, will she fly?” And she’s like, “Yeah, she’s sure and true,” type of. Yeah. It’s too soon to mention what they’re talking about. So, like, they have a conversation in front of the grave where it’s like we kind of get that they both know that each other knows. The dad knows and the son knows that the dad knows.

[Shep]
It right. So the reason I wanted the dad to come and get him is because then the dad has to drive him back. So the dad is there when all the friends are there.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, that’s good.

[Shep]
So this is everyone together all at once, and everybody knows.

[Emily]
And they…. Okay, no, that’s just me and my morbidness.

[Shep]
What?

[Emily]
I won’t foist that on other people.

[Thomas]
We’re not doing The Time Traveler’s Wife. He’s not dying in front of all his friends.

[Emily]
No, I was going to have him have them maybe plan his wake or something. Like they start making plans for how they’re going to deal with his dying, like rotating whose dinners, and they make a schedule, that kind of thing.

[Shep]
Right. One of them is like, “We should get together again,” and another one’s like, “Oh, yeah, we’ll get together at his funeral. Too soon?” Is that-

[Emily]
And he’s like, “Yeah, I have a list of what you guys need to do. I’ve been working on it.”

[Shep]
Right. He has a plan because he always has a plan, and they’ve never worked out, which they can tease him on. Like, he has a plan for dying, so he’ll probably just live.

[Emily]
I actually like that being a line that’s like-

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s good.

[Emily]
“Well, we know you’re not going to die. Your plans never work out.”

[Thomas]
So I like that idea, Emily, that you said before about them all bringing out the food and the lunch. And so, yeah, he gets back, everybody’s there, they’ve brought all the food out, and he comes back and they’re like, “Hey, there you are.” And he’s like, “What? What’s going on?”

[Shep]
“I think the hallucinations have started.”

[Thomas]
All right. Is there anything else that we’re missing in this or that we want to add?

[Shep]
I mean, it depends on how much time we have. We can add lots more. It’s that kind of movie.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s a talkie movie.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s an emotional movie. There’s lots of scenes you can put in.

[Thomas]
For sure.

[Emily]
Of course. There’s lots of revelations and resolutions.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
There’s way more allegories we could put in-

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
To throw in, in other conversations about various stuff.

[Emily]
I think we have the gist of it. And I feel like there’s enough bratwurst in it.

[Shep]
They’re all having bratwursts at the Final Supper.

[Thomas]
They had cooked up a whole bunch the night before that didn’t get eaten.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And so they’re having bratwurst and whatnot for lunch.

[Emily]
Bratwurst and French toast is the weirdest brunch ever.

[Thomas]
I don’t know. That’s like a German version of chicken and waffles, right?

[Emily]
Yeah. I honestly would eat it, but-

[Thomas]
It sounds good to me. Honestly, sausage and maple syrup, fantastic combination.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yep. Agreed.

[Thomas]
Well, those are our thoughts, but we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode about a Bratwurst. Was this episode our best or was it the worst? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com Be sure to subscribe to the show in your podcatcher of choice so you never miss an episode. When you do, you’ll be able to join Emily, Shep, and I on the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Shep]
I actually did have sausages today after I wrote the pitches.

[Emily]
Nice.

[Shep]
I was just craving sausage.

[Thomas]
I wonder why.

[Shep]
Yeah, it’s a mystery.

[Emily]
“It was the bratbest of times it was the bratwurst of times?”

[Shep]
Yep. Yep.

[Thomas]
Oh.