Adhesive Tape

References

• Stuck at Prom
• Mad Max
• Jerry Lewis
• The Absent Minded Professor
• The Nutty Professor
• Amazing Stories
  • Mummy Daddy
• Wire Spool Guy
• 3M
• Soylent Green
• Almost Plausible: Contact Lenses
• Rick Moranis
• Space Balls
• The Lego Movie
• Jack Quaid
• Michael Jackson
• Save the Cat!: The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need
• Pee-wee Herman
• Wallace and Gromit
• Men in Black
• Home Alone
• Blood, sweat and syrup: Why are there so many fights at Waffle House?
• Diff’rent Strokes
• Gary Coleman
• 3Com

Corrections

Shep mentioned “that Jerry Lewis flubber” movie, but he was conflating two different movies. The flubber movie is The Absent Minded Professor from 1961, which does not star Jerry Lewis. There is a movie where Jerry Lewis plays a nutty professor, and that’s The Nutter Professor from 1963. Not only did Thomas and Emily also confuse these two movies in their minds, but apparently this happens pretty often, because the Wikipedia pages for both films link to each other right at the top.

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Shep]
I’m sorry, I have a scene playing in my head.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
I’m like trying to pay attention, but I have the henchmen exploring the apartment and the cat is leaving traps for them, Home Alone-style. We could fill five or seven minutes with that.

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. I’m Thomas J. Brown, and sticking with the show are Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
And F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
Happy to be here.

[Thomas]
We’ve covered “tape” on this show before, first with Videocassette and more recently Cassette Tape. And we’re no stranger to office supplies with our Paperclip and Post It Note episodes just to name a couple. Today on the show, we’ll piece together a movie plot about another kind of tape you find in the office: Adhesive Tape. All forms of sticky tape are on the table today, including scotch, sello, masking, duct, gaffer, electrical, even toupee tape, which is an invisible double-sided tape used to attach hair pieces. So let’s get stuck in and see what pitches we’ve come up with. Emily, you’re up first.

[Emily]
All right, I got three for us today. So my first pitch is: Tanya is hoping to win a scholarship by entering a duct tape prom dress competition. She doesn’t know how to design anything resembling a prom dress and can’t expect any help from her all-but-absent parents. She goes on a journey of self-discovery as she tries her best to make the perfect prom dress.

[Thomas]
I had completely forgotten about duct tape prom dress competitions.

[Emily]
Oh yeah. That was the first thing that popped into my mind. I’m like, what does adhesive tape? Oh, yeah, prom dresses. All right. My second one is kind of… You’ll see. It’s just kinda…

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
A post-apocalyptic movie a la Mad Max where all things automotive are harder and harder to find. One man has the largest stockpile of auto body tape and a group of ragtag kids band together to steal it and make their fortune.

[Shep]
Band together… there’s probably a pun there.

[Emily]
Yeah, probably. And my final one: obviously a serial killer that duct tapes his victims like mummies.

[Thomas]
That seems good. Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah. All right, Shep, what do you have for us?

[Shep]
Okay. A comedy of errors when a brilliant but clumsy scientist ends up covered in their own invention: the world’s strongest adhesive tape. So think like the Jerry Lewis flubber crossed with that mummy episode of Amazing Stories with where he’s stuck in the costume.

[Emily]
That’s my favorite one. Oh.

[Shep]
Or: a mom passing on her father’s wisdom to her own children, using adhesive tape to fix things around the house, which is his unfinished roll of tape until that tape is used up.

[Emily]
Oh, man. This reminds me of a TikTok I saw where a wife comes and finds her husband sitting on the back deck. She’s a horrible shrew who says terrible things to him. But he’s staring at this roll of wire and… And he’s like, “I. I’m almost out of this.” And she’s like, “Yeah, so?” And he’s like, “I’ve had this for like 30 years. And I’m almost…” like, having this existential crisis over almost being done with the spool of wire. And it just. That kind of reminds me of it.

[Shep]
I know exactly the one you’re talking about.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s the one that us guys point to when women are like, “Why don’t you open up about your feelings?” Because look what happened to this guy.

[Emily]
She was awful.

[Shep]
She was so awful. He’s, like, on the verge of tears because it’s this moving moment for him, and she’s like, “Oh, why are you crying?” Ba, ba, ba, ba. And it’s like, not now. Not like you’re trying to make a joke for your TikTok or whatever. This is not the time for that. Anyway, that’s it for me. Thomas, what do you have?

[Thomas]
I have two today: an inventor creates a revolutionary type of adhesive tape that is ultra-strong, sticks to most materials, releases without residue, and can be reused many times.

[Shep]
Hey, this sounds familiar.

[Thomas]
A company similar to but definitely not 3M wants to buy the formula which excites the inventor until he finds out they plan to lock it in a vault and never use it. The CEO sends henchmen to steal the tape, sending the inventor running for his life using his tape to get him out of sticky situations.

[Shep]
Hey.

[Thomas]
He eventually breaks into the company’s headquarters and uses the tape to tie up the CEO until the police can arrive. And somehow the inventor is able to provide evidence for what’s been going on. Or not. If we don’t like that ending. But I liked that idea of this revolutionary thing that capitalism was just going to lock away. And-

[Emily]
Wouldn’t be the first time.

[Thomas]
Yeah, my second pitch:

[Thomas]
In the not-too-distant future, an adhesive tape made from human skin cells has been developed and is routinely used for taping wounds shut after surgery. The tape fuses with the patient’s skin, resulting in faster healing with less scarring. Trouble starts when one patient complains about hearing a voice that wasn’t there before the surgery. The patient and their doctor are surprised to learn that the voice belongs to a man who died a couple of months before.

[Emily]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. So it’s like a skin graph that mind melds with you.

[Thomas]
Yeah, basically what I imagine is that the company that’s making them say they’re growing these cells in the lab, but what they’re actually doing is harvesting skin cells from dead bodies.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
And somehow, you know, because of movie magic, they’re starting to, like, hold people’s memories and personalities or whatever. So-

[Shep]
“The tape is made of people.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The human skin cell tape reminds me of a bit of our Contact Lens episode.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah, those are my pitches. Is there one of all of our pitches that’s standing out to us?

[Shep]
I want to combine Thomas’s inventor pitch with my inventor pitch. I mean, all I had was that it was a comedy of errors with the brilliant scientist who is clumsy, ends up covered in their own tape and can’t get it off because it’s so strong.

[Emily]
I mean, that would work well with Thomas’s and having the idea of a evil CEO.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
You can make him very cartoonish.

[Shep]
Mine isn’t a story.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
That’s just a setup so it could happen inside Thomas’s pitch.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
That’s my vote.

[Thomas]
Okay. I mean, that sounds good to me.

[Emily]
Works for me.

[Thomas]
All right, so tell me about this inventor, this clumsy inventor.

[Shep]
He’s brilliant but clumsy.

[Thomas]
Hmm. How early in the story is the tape invented? I feel like we probably see a little bit of experiments failing first. So this would be like, halfway through the first act or toward the end of the first act, probably.

[Shep]
Okay, is this a specific type of tape that he has been working on?

[Thomas]
Yeah. I think that he’s been working with adhesives, and he’s trying to formulate something. He feels that there’s a revolution coming in adhesives, and he wants to be at the front lines.

[Shep]
Okay, what era? Because I’ve got Jerry Lewis on the brain.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Because I recently saw clips from an old Jerry Lewis movie. It’s, like, pushing itself forward in my mind while I’m trying to listen to you.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And it’s like, he’s nerdy, but he’s got this gorgeous girlfriend that’s trying to get his attention, but he doesn’t pay any attention to her. He’s too focused on science. What is the tone that we’re going for? Because we need to either use Jerry Lewis goofy or replace that with a different tone.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I mean, if he’s clumsy, it could be like the Jerry Lewis, Rick Moranis, brilliant but clumsy scientist.

[Shep]
Oh, man, I wish Rick Moranis still acted.

[Thomas]
He’s getting back into it.

[Shep]
Is he?

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, he’s done a couple of things recently.

[Shep]
How old is he now?

[Emily]
Gotta be late 60s.

[Shep]
Okay, too old. Unless he’s the evil CEO.

[Thomas]
Ah, there you go.

[Emily]
That would be great.

[Shep]
I would love to see Rick Moranis as a cackling evil CEO. Don’t you want to see that?

[Emily]
I do 100%.

[Thomas]
But he’s got to be like the, like, a Lord Helmet kind of CEO.

[Emily]
So it’s goofy. Goofy. We are-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
We are going to go Jerry Lewis goofy.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Like, that level goofy? Or like dial it back a smidge.

[Thomas]
I mean, it’s not a cartoon.

[Thomas]
It’s a live-action film. But it is perhaps unrealistically goofy.

[Emily]
That makes it easier. So is he purposely trying to create a new kind of tape?

[Thomas]
In Flubber. Isn’t he trying to invent something else? And the flubber is, like, what he accidentally creates?

[Emily]
I believe that is.

[Thomas]
Because I was thinking, like, “Oh, maybe he’s trying to invent something else, and then he accidentally invents this super adhesive tape.” But then I was like, wait, feel like that’s been done.

[Shep]
So Rick Marino’s CEO is publicly popular, but privately super evil. Not, you know, openly Nazi-saluting evil, but greedy capitalist evil.

[Thomas]
He’s like, what was the boss’s name in the Lego Movie?

[Shep]
Yeah. Lord Business. Yes, he is Lord Business. So our main character, Jack Quaid, this is who I’m thinking of. He is a fan of that CEO. And the CEO’s company is running a competition for inventing the next adhesive tape. And so he was really focused on this competition. Like he’s specifically trying to develop a tape product that does something tape couldn’t do before. I don’t know what.

[Emily]
It’s got to be something with space.

[Shep]
It’s, every part you tear off is an NFT. No.

[Thomas]
Shep, don’t give them ideas.

[Shep]
I like the idea of reusability because you can immediately see why a CEO of a corporation would not want that to be out there.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Especially if it’s extra strong. Sticks to most things, leaves no residue, doesn’t take the paint up.

[Shep]
Right. How does he get stuck in it then?

[Thomas]
It’s a good question.

[Shep]
It needs like some activator or deactivator.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Oh, water. It’s got to be water because that is abundant and everywhere.

[Emily]
Oh, that could be one of the selling features is that the water almost cements it.

[Shep]
So I was thinking water resets the tape. So it’s very strong, it sticks to you and it bonds. You know, put it on a package, it bonds permanently. But you can spray with water. And when it soaks it up, then it comes off. But then when it dries, it’s reusable.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
It’s sticky again.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s good.

[Shep]
But then he’s not really stuck in it. He just needs to get in the shower.

[Thomas]
Well, but if he’s stuck to something.

[Emily]
Yeah. If he’s been taped to the wall, how’s he gonna get to the shower?

[Thomas]
I imagine a scene where he’s leaning over, like, Michael Jackson-style, but he’s being held up by the tape, and he’s, like, trying to reach the sink. He’s got, like, T. Rex-style hands. They’re, like, up against him. He’s like “(Struggle noises).” And he’s, like, trying to get over to it.

[Shep]
You’ve sold me on it.

[Thomas]
Because somehow he’s- Because he’s clumsy, he’s, like, got on all tumbled up in this big stock of it that he’s created.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Oh, I know. Because the way that he makes it, it comes out, like with a pasta roller, where it’s, like one long, big thing of it. So he’s trying to string it up onto a spool. It sticks to him, and he’s like, “Whoop”. And he keeps turning around, trying to get it unstuck, and he’s “Whoops. Whoops.” And he’s like- Gets one arm up against himself, and he’s like, “Oh, no.” Because he’s clumsy.

[Shep]
Have you seen this movie? You’re, you’re really described, like, you’re painting a picture.

[Thomas]
Dude. I see this movie in my brain right now. Like-

[Shep]
So later in the movie, his girlfriend has like a water spritzer bottle so she can spray him when he gets stuck again.

[Thomas]
Does she just keep it in her purse for exactly that?

[Shep]
She just carries it around. Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah, yeah. So we know what the tape is and does and how it works and why the CEO wouldn’t want it to get out there.

[Thomas]
So I feel like the end of the first act is the competition. Does that make sense?

[Shep]
Is the end of the first act the competition? Or is the first act setting up the characters and the competition that he’s planning to enter and his girlfriend, and his failures of making tape? And like the success is the end of the first act. Successfully making the tape.

[Thomas]
So I looked up the Save the Cat story beats which are overly prescriptive in my opinion. But.

[Shep]
Yes, we agree. Although I like the book overall.

[Thomas]
So we kind of start off with like the hero and the ordinary world are introduced. That’s like the first 10 pages. The catalyst is like a couple pages later. So like the inciting incident, I guess. And then the next dozen or so pages, the hero is hesitant to take action. But then eventually the hero takes up the challenge and that’s the end of the first act, is the hero takes up the challenge. I feel like entering the contest might make sense then.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
So if he’s supposed to be hesitant, what would he be hesitant about? It’s not ready? Is his girlfriend being like, you’ve been working on this for so long and look, she’s got an announcement on an iPad because it’s not in the paper like my brain originally went to because I’m old.

[Emily]
Because it doesn’t take place in the 1960s.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
I mean, it can take place whenever we want.

[Thomas]
Well, then the 90s, if it’s one of our movies, it’s-

[Shep]
Well, unless we get sponsored by Apple. And then we can do product placement.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
It’s an iPad.

[Thomas]
I mean, realistically, it’s going to be some Windows tablet, but.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
It’s the Surface Touch, whatever it is.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And then she’ll be like, “See her on Bing. It says…” It’s always so obvious when they do that.

[Emily]
I want to go back to the girlfriend and the squirt bottle.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
She helps him discover that the water resets it and it is reusable. Not only is it the strongest, gonna bond to almost anything, it is now also reusable.

[Thomas]
Now, is that why he decides to enter it? He’s like, “It’s not ready. It’s not ready.” But this is the thing he needed?

[Shep]
I mean, that would work.

[Emily]
Sure.

[Shep]
He never thinks it’s ready, but this one has this new feature.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And she really sells him on the idea of it being a world-changing invention.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So then, end of the first act, he enters the. What are we calling it? A science competition? Invention competition. Invention convention.

[Shep]
There’s got to be a tape pun. This might be a problem for the writers.

[Thomas]
Well, are they looking for tape specifically or-

[Shep]
Oh, you’re right. Could be. Yeah.

[Emily]
Just any new novel invention.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Are we gonna… This is probably a problem for the writers, but some sort of punny 3M-style, you know, “4N” or something. So that’s the name of the company that Rick Moranis runs.

[Shep]
Yes. And here we introduce his rival. Another inventor.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
Terry. Actually, I know it’s Steve.

[Thomas]
Steve. Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s gotta be Steve.

[Emily]
I know it’s Steve.

[Shep]
Now, does the rival just want to steal his glory or also his girlfriend?

[Emily]
I mean, stereotypically in these kinds of stories, it’s both.

[Emily]
But she wouldn’t be into it. Right? Because what would be tempting about him?

[Thomas]
Maybe part of the reason they’re rivals is that he’s totally focused on money. He is very intelligent. And our inventor character, he cares about making the world a better place. And so he wants this reusable tape because it’s more Earth-friendly.

[Emily]
Mmm.

[Thomas]
But the other guy’s like, “I couldn’t care less if we’re strip mining the planet as long as I make money.” And he’s very intelligent. He could, if you put his resources to it, do things that are better for people, better for the environment, you know, better for the economy, whatever.

[Emily]
But not better for his coffers?

[Thomas]
Right. He’s just a selfish guy. They must have had run-ins in the past, huh?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Well, they obviously went to school together.

[Thomas]
Ah, yes.

[Shep]
Oh, obviously.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Their Ph.D. programs. They were rivals.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Did they have a project that they were both working on together and then had a philosophical divergence right at the end?

[Shep]
Well, his rival changed the order of the names on the paper.

[Emily]
Mm. Yes.

[Shep]
So it became his name, et al.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
And they had philosophical differences at the same time.

[Thomas]
Right. I mean, he did. Whatever he did. He did it because it was like, “This will get me ahead and that’s all I care about.”

[Emily]
Yeah. “This is gonna get me that job at this company that is gonna pay me right out the door.”

[Thomas]
Right. Oh, sure. So he’s already more financially successful.

[Emily]
Yeah. Versus the hero who was like, “I’m looking for an ethically non-corrupt company where I can make better science for the world.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
And this guy’s like, “Give me the monies.” Yeah.

[Thomas]
So does Steve work in some really nice, well-equipped lab somewhere and our guy is just working in his basement?

[Emily]
Mm.

[Shep]
Yes, that’s the classic stereotype.

[Emily]
And while Steve is intelligent and does have the capabilities to do those things, since he is so money-focused, he’s kind of lost his science. You know, the use it or lose it type thing. He’s just looking for a quick buck. So now he can’t- What used to come quickly to him no longer does.

[Thomas]
Well. And I would say his inventions are probably fairly derivative.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
He’s not looking to innovate, he’s just trying to iterate.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And he has lackeys.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He’s got employees to do the heavy thinking for him.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. Very good.

[Shep]
Grad students. They’re very cheap, but they’re smart and they’re hardworking because they don’t know any better yet.

[Thomas]
Right. They’re eager to please.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
They got something to prove.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Yep. What is our character’s name? Our inventor’s name?

[Emily]
Could be something ridiculous because he had weird parents.

[Thomas]
Right. He’s got a quirky name to go along with his quirky personality.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah, this might be a problem for the writers.

[Thomas]
I just wanted something that we could refer to him as rather than our inventor.

[Emily]
Abernathy.

[Thomas]
But he goes by Abe.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
Is Abe a valid shortening of Abernathy?

[Thomas]
I mean, it’s the first three letters.

[Emily]
Abernathy is a surname. So I don’t think.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I think you guys are thinking about this way too hard. I just threw a name out there.

[Shep]
Look what you did, Emily. This is on you.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So if his name is Abernathy, but he goes by Abe, people that don’t know him can mistakenly call him Abraham.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Even though that is not his name.

[Thomas]
People assume that it’s something else and it’s not.

[Shep]
Right. What does his girlfriend call him?

[Emily]
Abby.

[Shep]
Abby.

[Thomas]
How does he feel about that?

[Emily]
Well, she’s hot, so it’s fine.

[Shep]
He doesn’t like it.

[Emily]
He doesn’t like it?

[Shep]
No. He does not appreciate his long-suffering girlfriend. At the end, he can appreciate her more. That’s his character growth.

[Emily]
Okay. Because really, his invention would have been thrown out and been nothing had she not acted.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Yeah, that’s one of the many, many ways.

[Emily]
That he is just a douchebag to her.

[Shep]
He’s not a douchebag. But he does not appreciate her enough. He could love her more is all I’m saying.

[Thomas]
He takes her for granted.

[Shep]
He takes her for granted.

[Shep]
Is this why Steve is, like, always hitting on her? Maybe he’s got a shot.

[Thomas]
Is Steve hitting on her?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Emily]
As a show that “I’m better than you because not only do I make more money than you, I will win this competition over you and I’m going to steal your girlfriend.” Which is not at all going to happen. But he’s stupid and thinks it will.

[Shep]
I mean, she can call out all of the tropes because that’s a classic thing.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
She’s like, “I’m not a prize.” Like, “You don’t win me.”

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
“I’m a separate individual.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. Well, does he win the competition or not?

[Emily]
Abe?

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
No.

[Thomas]
Because I feel like the evil CEO doesn’t want to call attention.

[Emily]
Yeah. Hundred percent.

[Thomas]
He immediately recognizes, “Oh, shit, this is definitely the winner, but I’m not going to award this thing the prize.”

[Emily]
Right. He doesn’t. But he. He beckons him back to talk to him.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
And it’s in a way that Abe thinks, “Oh, we’re going to do something special with this. This is. This goes beyond the competition.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And maybe the CEO puts it that way. Like he kind of sweet-talks him into coming and trying to sell it to him so that he can just lock it away and do nothing with it.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
How does Abe find out that’s what’s the eventual plan?

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s a good question.

[Shep]
I don’t want to keep putting everything on the girlfriend. But they could be ignoring her and talking to each other about stuff. The people at the company.

[Emily]
Mm.

[Shep]
And she overhears that conversation about what their plans are. So she’s like, “Don’t sign that contract. They want to just hide your invention away from the world.”

[Emily]
I actually kinda like it because it’s that reverse thing that happens in movies where the men always take over and the women don’t do the action themselves. It’s all kind of done to them. Or for them.

[Shep]
Is the girlfriend the main character? The more I’m thinking about this…

[Thomas]
I know, it feels like it, doesn’t it?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Would we rather tell the story from that angle?

[Thomas]
Well, I’d say let’s definitely keep that as an option because-

[Emily]
Yeah. Because I like the idea of keeping it goofy, silly, Jerry Lewis-style, with the boyfriend and the inventor and the CEO and everything and having her part be straight.

[Shep]
It sounds like all the guys are goofy.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Does she have a friend, a female friend that she can be straight with?

[Emily]
Is it a sister? Is it a co-worker, colleague? Just a random best friend who has a shitty car and just follows them around everywhere.

[Thomas]
Well, how do you want to use the friendship?

[Shep]
Just a contrast between the men and the women? Like, the men are living in their own world.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
They’re ignoring the women, and they’re just being goofy. They don’t realize how goofy they are because to them, that’s the world.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But the women are off in the real world, not managing the men, but kind of managing the men. Yeah, they’re managing the men.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Or none of that. If you want to have the girlfriend be the straight character in a movie otherwise full of goofy characters, that’s also fine. How goofy are we going? Because I’m just thinking of plot twists where her friend is actually the girlfriend of Steve, and the reveal at the end: Everything was a setup for a betrayal.

[Thomas]
That makes Steve extra douchey then.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Hundred percent.

[Shep]
Yeah, that’s correct.

[Emily]
We want him to be as douchey as could be. We want him to be one of those canoes converted into a shower. So he is literally a douche canoe.

[Shep]
Yep. That’s why you don’t suspect that he is, he and the friend are a couple because he keeps hitting on girlfriend who doesn’t have a name.

[Thomas]
Right. Right.

[Shep]
I don’t mean to derail this with, like, naming all the characters.

[Emily]
Celia. Her name is Celia.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
I got names. I got names coming out of my ears, man. Tell me you need to name a character. I got it.

[Shep]
What’s the CEO’s name?

[Emily]
Todd.

[Thomas]
What did we decide was the evil woman name? Is it Shannon?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]
Steve and Shannon.

[Emily]
Steve and Shannon.

[Thomas]
Now, does Steve win the 4N competition or not? Because his stuff is derivative.

[Shep]
His stuff is derivative. But profitable.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Steve is not redemptive in any way.

[Emily]
No.

[Thomas]
Like, he doesn’t, in the end, help.

[Shep]
It depends. What kind of story do you want? Do you want him to be redeemed at the end? Then who is the main baddie? Just the CEO.

[Thomas]
Todd. Yeah.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
We want Steve to be redeemed? Is that what we’re saying?

[Thomas]
Because, I mean, Steve could end up working for Todd and then betray him at the end once he realizes that, I don’t know, whatever it is that he needs to realize.

[Shep]
How many betrayals at the end do we want? How many would be funny, but not too much?

[Thomas]
Well, what does Abe get at the end? Does he successfully get his tape out there? Does the board of directors fire Todd and there’s a new CEO who, although profit-driven, is not quite so greedy and evil?

[Shep]
I mean, would the board want someone who’s not so greedy, or do they want someone who’s even more greedy?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Which has got to be Steve or Shannon.

[Emily]
It’s going to be Shannon. I think she’s going to take over as CEO. I want her to betray Steve.

[Shep]
So she betrays Celia first.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
And then betrays Steve and then betrays Todd and takes his position as CEO.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Is she Todd’s secretary and that’s why Steve’s dating her?

[Shep]
So is this a Celia/Shannon movie or is this a Abernathy and Steve movie?

[Thomas]
I feel like it’s Abernathy’s story because he’s the one who needs to make a change.

[Emily]
And his change is to stop taking Celia for granted.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Because Celia doesn’t need to change. She’s on the right path always. She knows what the hell she’s doing. And she’s trying to manage Abernathy.

[Thomas]
Yeah, actually. So this company’s never going to buy this tape, like, by the end of the film. He has to realize that. So maybe his denouement is setting up his own company and taking orders over the Internet or something. Or maybe he’s got big factories that are mass-producing this tape.

[Shep]
That’s if you want him to make a profit at the end. He could just open-source the recipe.

[Emily]
So that they can use it in third-world countries to repair. You know, he could make that argument of, like, “It’s for everyone.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. If his scientific driving principle is: improve the world. So I know we just recently had a story where the main character was overworking to try to improve their lives, but maybe this has been his thing. Like, he’s been trying to invent this thing so he can sell it and make a bunch of money and that’ll make their lives better. And in the end, Celia is just like, “Who cares?” Like, “Just release the formula. Make the world better. We don’t need the money.”

[Emily]
She’s a high-powered environmental lawyer. She does it. She’s like, “I can support you bitch. Just let the world have it.”

[Shep]
She has been supporting him for years.

[Emily]
Right, Right. And she, maybe she points that out just like, “You’re basically a housewife, dude.”

[Shep]
Yeah. So Steve keeps hitting on her, and his selling point is, “I have more money.” Like, “I can take care of you. You don’t have to take care of me, like you have to take care of Abe.” And so Abe has that in his mind. That’s what he thinks.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
That’s why he’s not confident with Celia, because he doesn’t make any money. He’s like, “Oh, if I win this competition and I get this contract with this company, I’ll have. I’ll finally have money, and I can take care of Celia, and then I can propose, and we can get married and live happily ever after.” And if he just had this conversation with Celia, she could say, “I don’t give a shit about any of that.”

[Emily]
“I like my job and I like supporting you. Now go into the kitchen and make me a sandwich.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. I mean, I guess he can’t be completely hopeless. Like, he does need to essentially be a homemaker to a point, because she can’t. She’s not going to stick with him if she comes home to a dirty house. We see him running around, and maybe because he’s an inventor, he’s got those Pee Wee Herman-style. Maybe not quite to that extent.

[Shep]
Wallace and Gromit-style.

[Thomas]
Right. Like, little machines around the house that help him out. So he’s cut a hole in the ceiling in the laundry room and made a makeshift laundry chute for them so that he can, you know, pick up clothes real quick and throw them in the chute and then run downstairs, and it all just drops right into the laundry thing. And…

[Shep]
He’s made a cute little helper robot to help around the house. I’m just saying, merchandising opportunity.

[Thomas]
There you go.

[Emily]
Right. Yeah.

[Thomas]
But, like, he’s found all these little hacks so that he can very quickly get the chores done he needs to get done, and then go downstairs and invent. So that way he feels like, “Oh, okay, I’m pulling my weight.” It’s not entirely on her, at least the, like, day-to-day kind of stuff. But he still feels like, “Oh, the financial burden is on her. And I don’t-” He has it, like, in his head. “Oh, I don’t like that. That’s not a thing I want. That’s not how it should be.” But like you said, Emily, she doesn’t care.

[Emily]
No, she enjoys her job. And as long as he’s contributing to the relationship and the household, why does it matter?

[Thomas]
Right. “I love my job, and I come home to a clean house.”

[Emily]
Yeah. And I. I would like the idea of, yeah, he does it to help him save time so he can go invent some more. But that’s also just what he does when he’s stuck on his inventions.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
Like, he goes and, like, makes the Roomba a little more powerful or figures out how to, like, make it more precise.

[Shep]
Procrastinating by working on something else.

[Emily]
Yeah, Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I don’t know anything about that.

[Thomas]
Well, speaking of procrastinating, let’s take a quick break here, and when we come back, we’ll finish the rest of our Adhesive Tape story.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we’re back. I feel like we’ve got a pretty good first act. We know what the relationships are. What is that second act? He’s got to start meeting with some kind of adversity. Well, we never did figure out how he finds out that the CEO is just going to lock the tape away in a vault or lock the formula away in a vault.

[Shep]
Well, my suggestion was that the girlfriend found out.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I was thinking perhaps, like, if Celia and Shannon are not friends, then I still like what we’ve sort of come up with for Shannon. Perhaps Celia is, while Todd and Abe are in the meeting discussing the details of the contract, Celia is, like, waiting out in the waiting room. She hasn’t been part of this meeting at all. And she ends up going to the bathroom.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Shannon and some co-worker come into the bathroom and she’s like, “Ugh. Yeah, I gotta like…” Oh, she’s just there talking and she’s “I can’t believe we’re gonna pay a million dollars (or whatever the amount is. It’s like this ridiculous amount of money) for something we’re not even gonna use. We’re just buying it to stick it in a vault.” Whatever.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Something like that. So she overhears that and she goes and bursts in and tells Abe. Now what does Abe think about that? About her coming in and basically not letting him sign this thing that he’s been working toward? He feels like this will finally be his big, successful moment.

[Emily]
How about instead of her overhearing it in the bathroom, they’re gonna get down to do contract negotiations, and we’ve established she’s possibly a lawyer, so she sits in on the contract negotiations with them and they try to kind of flub over, you know, like they would with somebody who doesn’t have a lawyer present over parts of the contract.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, Right.

[Emily]
And she goes, “Wait, wait, what is this?” Because the contract’s going to spell out what they’re going to do with it.

[Thomas]
I don’t know that it would spell that out necessarily. It would certainly give them that option. It would say that they’re not required to.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right. A cleverly written contract anyway.

[Emily]
Maybe she notices that and kind of catches on and asks a lot of questions about it. And then Abe’s like, “What are you doing?” And she’s like, “No, this is important. We need to know.” And they just kind of start getting, builds more tension in the room between her and Abe and then between Abe and Todd.

[Shep]
Sounds like Abe doesn’t trust Celia. Which is not ideal.

[Emily]
I think maybe he’s just so focused at the moment on selling it and getting the funds.

[Thomas]
Right. Achieving that goal that he’s been pursuing.

[Emily]
Yeah. It’s not that he doesn’t trust her. It’s that he’s blinded by the possibility.

[Shep]
I think he’s blinded by his fanboyism for Todd.

[Emily]
That could be too.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
So they’re in the room together, and they’re going over the contract. And Celia brings up a clause, and Todd will say something like, “Oh, don’t worry about (whatever).” You know, “We have plans, (whatever).” And Abe is like, nodding along. “Oh, see, they have plans. Don’t worry about it.”

[Thomas]
Be interesting if it was something about, oh, he’ll get 5% of the profits on it or whatever.

[Emily]
Hmm.

[Thomas]
And she’s like, “5%?” And he’s like, “Not enough?” And she’s like, “Way too much. You’re not going to sell this, are you?” “What? Why would you say that?” “You’ve made the pot too sweet.” That’s what catches her eye. And she starts really digging into the contract.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
I mean, I guess in reality you wouldn’t have something in there that’s like, “Oh, and by the way, we’re not going to use this,” but in the movie they might.

[Emily]
Yeah. People don’t know what are in- Who reads contracts? They don’t know what’s actually in there or not or what is legally required of them.

[Shep]
Right. In the contract just says “if”. “If we sell x amount, then you get y.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She’s like, “Why does it say if? Why do you keep saying if in all these clauses?”

[Thomas]
Yeah. I think that maybe the specific details could be left up to the writers. But, yeah, I like Celia using her knowledge to help Abe out in that moment.

[Emily]
And then that would show, I think, again, maybe not distrust in her, but that he is taking her for granted.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
I don’t know if she insisted on being there or if he invited her for this. Maybe he invited her to kind of, you know, like, “Hey, look, I’m gonna be a big helper.” Or if she’s just like, “I’ll just come with you.”

[Thomas]
I mean, I imagine this happens immediately after the competition. And so she’s just there.

[Shep]
Right. They don’t want him to leave.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
And he’s got samples of the tape with him.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
They’re like, “Come with us and bring that whole box.”

[Thomas]
So then what happens?

[Shep]
Yeah, we’re at the first half of the second act.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Is that as far as we’ve gotten?

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So the cat’s out of the bag, right?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
He’s got to know. Abe’s got to know the reveal, that they don’t plan to release it ever.

[Thomas]
If Todd is truly evil, he’s not going to let them leave the building.

[Shep]
No, he’s not. He’s going to tie up Abe with his own tape.

[Emily]
And leave them in a basement janitor’s closet? Like, what’s the plan here?

[Shep]
If he’s cartoonishly evil, he’s got to have some villainy henchmen.

[Thomas]
Right. I would like it if Todd does not know how the tape works. Like, he doesn’t know that water resets it.

[Shep]
Right. He doesn’t care.

[Thomas]
Right. Oh, yeah. Maybe even Abe is trying to explain it to him. And he’s like, “I don’t really… The details aren’t important.” So then later, when they, maybe they, once they’ve gotten untied or whatever, they bust a window and they’re using the tape, they affix it to the side of the building, and they’re like scaling down the building, and Todd is at the window trying to tear the tape up and cause them to fall. And it’s not working because he doesn’t know what to do. That adhesion is too strong.

[Shep]
It would be funny if that was a showcase of, like, all the things that Abe had tried to tell him.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
You can’t cut it. Once it’s bonded, it’s there until you apply the reset solution, which is water. So he tries to peel it off. It doesn’t peel off. He tries to cut it. It doesn’t cut. He tries to light it.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
It doesn’t burn.

[Thomas]
I was gonna say he’s trying to burn it. Yeah.

[Shep]
So he’s, like, more and more impressed with the product that he would never want to use.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But, like, “Man, this is really good.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. There’s got to be a henchman standing there that he’s commenting to. He’s like, “Actually, this is pretty good stuff, right?”

[Shep]
Or he’s telling the henchmen to cut it and burn it and peel it off, and they’re trying, and nothing’s working. And the henchmen are talking to each other, impressed at how strong and reliable this tape is.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
But then partway down the building, it starts to rain.

[Thomas]
Or they could just run out. That roll is out. Because if they’re, you know, 30 stories up or something, or even 10 stories up, they don’t have several hundred unbroken feet of tape.

[Shep]
Whose plan is it to go out the window?

[Thomas]
What else are they going to do?

[Emily]
The henchmen are standing outside the door, so they clearly can’t go out that way.

[Thomas]
And even then, they’d have to get all through the building.

[Emily]
She’s very reluctant. And he’s like, “Look, we can scale down using the tape. It’s not going to come unstuck. We’re going to be fine.”

[Shep]
Right. He believes in his product.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Yeah, but they are taped together, so when he goes out, she goes with him. No matter how much she doesn’t like this plan.

[Thomas]
Oh, they don’t get all the way to the bottom.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And it does start to rain, and they’re panicking, and then it releases and they fall down the final, like, two or three feet to the ground. Like- “Oh.”

[Shep]
How would they not know how close they are to the ground?

[Thomas]
I mean, that happens in movies all the time, in goofy movies. So-

[Shep]
Oh, they’re blindfolded.

[Emily]
Oh, there you go.

[Shep]
Because they’re, they’ve been taken captive.

[Thomas]
If his hands are free, why does he not take the blindfold off?

[Shep]
It’s taped on.

[Thomas]
Are they not taped to their chairs or something?

[Shep]
They’re still taped to the chair when they go out the window.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Okay, yeah. All right.

[Shep]
I mean, if we’re going for goofy.

[Thomas]
Yeah. No, no more questions, your honor.

[Shep]
The two of them taped together and the chair and they’re blindfolded, and they’re like- He’s measuring out the tape as he, as he goes down. “We’re almost at the bottom,” and then they run out of tape.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s just like the last little bit that’s holding on the ring and then it starts raining and they can feel the rain and they know what’s going to happen.

[Thomas]
They fall and they land sitting in their chairs.

[Shep]
Yes, yes, exactly. Which then all the tape immediately falls off because it was raining.

[Thomas]
Right, right, right.

[Shep]
So that’s the visual. But before they fall, you have that heartfelt, “I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you.”

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
“I should have listened.”

[Thomas]
Well, do you. Do you have him doing that there? Because if that’s his arc, his character arc.

[Shep]
No, no, no. You have him say it, but then not follow through on it because they survive immediately.

[Thomas]
Ah, okay.

[Shep]
And then he, of course he forgets everything that he just said or doesn’t take it to heart.

[Thomas]
Sure, sure. So what’s the mid-second act turning point then?

[Shep]
Was that not the mid-second act turning point?

[Emily]
There’s a lot going on.

[Shep]
We didn’t even talk about the other inventions at the competition.

[Thomas]
Right, okay.

[Shep]
Which can all come back later as he like puts a coalition of scientists together to fight this evil corporation.

[Thomas]
Right. All these people he’s met. Yeah.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Okay, so the mid-second act turning point, then is being taken hostage.

[Shep]
Okay, so the, the twist is the revelation that Todd is evil.

[Thomas]
Yes. I like that.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
So now they’re on the run. They can’t go back to their house, or they try to go back to their house and they see trucks from the company are there or something like that.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Because they’re looking for the formula.

[Shep]
Right. Where is the formula?

[Thomas]
I mean, he can’t have written it down, can he?

[Shep]
No. If, if it’s in the apartment, then the evil corporation would find it.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
What if he’s mailed it to himself, registered mail?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
You know, like the old way to copyright stuff or to prove that you had something.

[Thomas]
The only copy, he sent it to himself in the mail?

[Shep]
Yeah, that seems kind of…

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Didn’t we establish that they have a cat?

[Emily]
Yes, yes we did.*

*Outside of the recording. Whoops.

[Thomas]
So it’s on the cat’s collar. No, wait.

[Shep]
It’s on Orion’s belt.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
No, I was thinking that before they left for the competition, the cat did something and destroyed equipment. You know, ruined his computer or tore up the printed-out recipe or something.

[Thomas]
I mean, people don’t know how computers work. The cat could-

[Shep]
“The files are inside the computer?”

[Thomas]
He could have a laptop that he’s typed it up on and saved it there. And then the cat knocks over a glass of water or something, and the computer gets fried.

[Shep]
It wouldn’t destroy the data.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
The hard drive would be fine. Yeah, it might destroy the laptop, but-

[Emily]
But he would. He would be smart enough to be able to recover what he needed.

[Thomas]
Well.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And the company would be smart enough to be able to do data recovery.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
I think he should write the formula down on a scrap of paper, and then that scrap of paper somehow accidentally gets, like, mailed to his brother or something or sent to somebody.

[Emily]
He writes it on the back of a wedding invitation he was in the middle of RSVPing to. And it gets sent to his brother and sister-in-law.

[Thomas]
Something like that. Yeah.

[Shep]
Because the tape stuck to it and he didn’t realize.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Everybody thinks the formula is gone. And then at the end of the movie, it turns out, “What is this?” It’s like, “Oh, my gosh.” We just need that Home Alone-style moment at the beginning where you get that little insert shot, sets it all up. We don’t draw a ton of attention to it. Okay. So they can’t go back to their house. Where do they go next?

[Emily]
Waffle House.

[Shep]
And then there’s a big fight scene.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Well, what’s the end of the second act?

[Shep]
I’m sorry, I have a scene playing in my head.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
I’m like trying to pay attention, but I have the henchmen exploring the apartment and the cat is leaving traps for them, Home Alone-style. We could fill five or seven minutes with that. Well, where were we? They couldn’t go back to the apartment.

[Thomas]
Right. So this is, like, partway through the second half of the second act. So we need kind of to keep ratcheting up that tension and get them to a point where it feels like all hope is lost. Get that lowest low to take us to the third act.

[Shep]
Okay, he has a copy of the formula with him because why wouldn’t he have it?

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
He’s going to the competition. If he wins, he’ll have to turn it over for the contract so he has it with him. So once he discovers the evil corporation’s plans, she suggests they go to her law office and register that formula under his name. So there’s a record of it, like a patent of it.

[Emily]
Mm.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
So that is the current plan. Let’s get this formula, this physical paper that they have to her office. The lowest low is, of course, they get caught at some point. And lose that copy of the, of the formula?

[Thomas]
Now, did they lose that copy to the henchmen or just-

[Shep]
No, it gets destroyed.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
It’s got to be destroyed so that nobody has it.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Is that an action that he takes?

[Emily]
Does he set it on fire so no one else can have it because it’s in danger of falling in the hands of the henchman?

[Shep]
Oh, he’s got a… It’s. Yeah. Gosh, it’s so tropey. He’s got a choice between saving the formula or rescuing Celia. And he rescues Celia. And then the formula falls into the fire.

[Thomas]
Are they caught by the henchmen again?

[Shep]
Are they caught by the henchmen again? Or, because we already have that scene earlier.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
What more can we do with that? Once the formula is destroyed and maybe the police have shown up, the henchmen could be like, “Let’s cut our losses. They don’t have the formula anymore anyway.”

[Thomas]
So is it something where, like, the henchmen snag her and they’re offering a trade? Although I suppose they could just grab him because he knew what the formula was. He could create it again.

[Shep]
Does he know it? Could he create it again? Or has he written a program to randomize these ingredients to make a bunch of batches of adhesive to test? And so this is one that worked really well. And so we had it printed out, but he doesn’t know what the ratios are. He doesn’t know what the exact ingredients are because he didn’t come up with it. It was one of the randomly generated formulas, so it doesn’t exist in his mind.

[Thomas]
Do they know that, though?

[Emily]
No.

[Thomas]
I feel like their position would be, he created it once, he can do it again.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
Okay, so do they recapture him?

[Emily]
Don’t we need a final confrontation between him and Todd and…

[Shep]
Yes. We need to get back to the corporation at the end.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. Okay. So during the competition, he has his booth where he’s showing off the thing. It’s like a science fair-style thing.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right. So people are going around to booth to booth. Celia is not just gonna stand there. That’s boring. So she’s going around networking with all the other scientists.

[Shep]
Sorry, I just pictured she’s going around networking with all the other scientists’ girlfriends.

[Emily]
Ha.

[Thomas]
Yeah, actually, maybe that’s what’s going on, but no. So she’s taking this opportunity to network. We don’t show that necessarily or call attention to it. So after he gets captured, maybe that’s the lowest low. The formula is destroyed. He thinks that’ll be the end of it. And they’re like, “No, you created it once. You can create it again.” And they take off with him, leaving her behind, and we’re following him and what’s going on with him. So she shows up later with all the other scientists that she has previously networked with, and they come and help take down the company.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
You said before you wanted to bring them back, so I like that idea.

[Shep]
Yep. This is excellent. So he gets taken back. It’s just him. We’re following his perspective. We don’t see Celia rallying the cavalry.

[Thomas]
Right, Right.

[Shep]
So we have Abe and Todd and Shannon. Do we have Steve?

[Thomas]
Hmm. My gut is no. But maybe. I guess it kind of depends on whether we want Steve to be redeemed. If so, then he should be there. And then if not, he can show up too late for any of the action.

[Emily]
I like that. I don’t think he needs to be redeemed. I think he can just be an asshole.

[Shep]
Well, it would make sense that he’s not part of Celia’s network if he won the competition and he’s already there at the corporation.

[Thomas]
Right. He’s on a different floor. He’s in some lab there working, and he comes up to tell Todd something. But it’s after the climax. He’s like, “What?”

[Shep]
He figures out the formula after Abe already published it openly on the Internet.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah, that could be good. We could see Todd give Steve that task. Maybe after they get away, he turns to Steve and he’s like, “Here’s some of it. Go figure it out.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
How does Abe get a copy of the formula to release if the one that he had is destroyed and he doesn’t realize the other one is out there?

[Shep]
I mean, that’s how you get it is the other one that’s out there, his brother-in-law is like, “Hey, I found this thing taped to your rsvp.”

[Thomas]
“This looks important. Do you need this?” He gets a text that has a photo of it. It’s like, “This looks important. Did you need this?” And he’s like, “So badly. Thank you.” And then he can just forward on that image to wherever.

[Shep]
Why does he have his phone? He’s captive.

[Thomas]
Well, this is during the, like climactic battle, I guess. He’s gotten his phone back.

[Shep]
Okay, so he gets captured and taken back to the corporation.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And is tasked with recreating the formula, which he cannot do. Celia returns with all the other scientists. There is a battle. He escapes, recovers his phone somehow, and then gets the text, just coincidentally right then?

[Thomas]
The timeline’s a little goofy. Like, when does he send this letter to the brother-in-law?

[Emily]
Beginning of the movie.

[Thomas]
Oh, you mean earlier today? You know, it would take days for it to get there.

[Shep]
Well, you have a montage after he invents it where he discovers all of its attributes.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
So after she discovers that it gets released with water, they have to also discover that it gets sticky again once it dries and has reset its adhesiveness.

[Thomas]
Sure, sure. Right. They’re doing all these different tests, and that’s how we convey to the audience all of its different properties that we take advantage of throughout the film.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
So then how do we solve the problem of “Gosh, what a coincidence. He gets the text, right then”?

[Shep]
Okay. Coincidences are okay if they get you in more trouble. Right?

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So they have the big fight and he gets free and he’s like, “Just let it go. I don’t have the formula. Nobody has the formula. It’s over.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
“You got what you wanted, which was this thing not getting out in the world.” And they’re about to let him go when his phone goes off. And because he’s set up text-to-speech, which we establish earlier, it’s his brother-in-law going, “Hey, I found this formula.”

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
“Is it important? Here’s a photo.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And it shows up on his phone and he looks at it and panics and everyone, everyone looks at, “Oh, there it is.” And then a more heated battle takes place because now it’s trying to get the phone, which has the only-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Well, not the only. Because the brother-in-law has a copy.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It has a copy of the formula. They want to get it right away. So he’s trying to get away and text the formula to someone else. They could throw the phone like a football. Like there’s a lot of stuff you can do now that you have this physical MacGuffin to fight over.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah. So how does that end?

[Shep]
That ends when he publishes the formula on the Internet and it goes viral immediately, somehow, which we established earlier. There is some craze or something going on, like a TikTok dance or whatever. And so he does the TikTok dance and then holds up the thing. And then the battle is continuing. And then like everybody’s phone rings and they’re all getting notifications.

[Thomas]
Right, earlier, Celia’s trying to get him to do this dance with her. And he’s like, “No, I’m busy, I’m busy.” And so finally he’s like, “Celia, the dance. We need to do it.” She’s like, “Now?” I don’t know how TikTok works. How much would he have to edit the video to superimpose the image of the formula?

[Emily]
Yeah. You could do it that way.

[Shep]
I mean, you don’t have to do anything. It’s a movie.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
You just make up whatever rule you want.

[Thomas]
That’s true. That’s true.

[Emily]
She could play the song on her phone. They do the dance, and it just holds it up or something. I don’t-

[Thomas]
Oh, sure. He could grab like a big sheet of paper and a Sharpie and write the formula out.

[Shep]
He holds it up on an iPad because Apple is sponsoring the movie. I’m sorry, a Microsoft Surface Touch.

[Thomas]
Yeah, The Surface has the built-in kickstand thing, so he sets it up so that it’s facing them. It’s so convenient. Oh, and then he uses the surface pen to write the formula on top of the video. All right, then what do they get the CEO in trouble for kidnapping them?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And…

[Shep]
This is where the ramifications of the CEO’s actions come into play because there’s this big kerfuffle going on.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
So the police arrive and the corporation is like, “These people are trespassing.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
“They’ve broken in and they’re doing all this stuff” and they’re like, “They kidnapped us.”

[Thomas]
Hmm. Yeah.

[Shep]
“They are criminals.” Is this where we have Shannon’s betrayal? Shannon, who has been the loyal secretary of Todd this whole time?

[Thomas]
Sure. Yeah.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Because Todd is like, “These people are crazy. They have no proof.” And she’s like, “Well, there’s the security cameras. We could just look at those.”

[Shep]
No. She holds up the footage on a Microsoft Surface Touch. You’re bad at product placement.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because she can access the security cameras from it.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Because-

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
The whole movie she’s had her Microsoft Surface touch that she’s been controlling everything with, right.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
And then he gets arrested and she gets voted in as CEO.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
As wildly improbable as that is.

[Shep]
I mean, she, somehow the scientists that have come, she’s like, “Your inventions are very interesting and you’ve demonstrated how well they work. I would like you all to sign these contracts.”

[Thomas]
Oh. So she’s brought in a whole bunch of new business.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And so the board of directors is like, “Interesting.”

[Shep]
She’s just standing there with a stack of contracts and the board of directors is giving her a standing ovation.

[Thomas]
Yes. How does it end? What’s the denouement then? The formula is out there so he can’t make money off of it.

[Shep]
Yes. So you have them finally have their heart-to-heart and he expresses, you know, he doesn’t feel adequate because he doesn’t make any money.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And she’s like, “What the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about, Willis?” She’s been talking like that the whole movie. I. We didn’t mention it, but.

[Thomas]
Right, right, right. She’s played by Gary Coleman.

[Shep]
She’s played by the late Gary Coleman. That’s right. He’s got range. I said it as a joke and then I pictured it in my mind all the scenes we talked about earlier. I love it. It’s too bad we can’t do that.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Well, digital effects.

[Emily]
I was gonna say, with the power of AI we can do anything.

[Shep]
Right. Let’s bring back Gary Coleman so he can play the girlfriend.

[Thomas]
He’s got just like a blonde wig. Okay. So, yeah, they’re. They’re together, they’re happy. He’s what, goofing?

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
He has like funky little inventions that he makes.

[Emily]
Yeah. Why not?

[Thomas]
That improve their lives.

[Shep]
Right. So the end credits is a musical number where they’re doing their dance around their apartment with all of his inventions.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And perhaps she has proposed to him.

[Thomas]
Ah, that’s good.

[Shep]
And they got married.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The end.

[Thomas]
Alright, we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode about Adhesive Tape. Should we stick with it or just tape this one shut? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com. Listener, have you done your good deed for the day? Oh, you have? I wasn’t expecting that. Well, lucky you, because today you get to do two good deeds when you tell someone to listen to this show. It could be a friend or family member, a co-worker, or a complete stranger. All you need to tell them is to listen to Almost Plausible wherever they regularly consume podcasts. When you tell someone about the show, you’ll feel extra good when you join Emily, Shep, and I on the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Thomas]
What does 3M stand for? It’s like Minnesota Mining and Materials or something like that. Or-

[Emily]
Yes, something… I don’t know. I looked it up once. A long time ago.

[Thomas]
Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing. I was close.

[Emily]
Now, they’re known for their paper products.

[Thomas]
So much for all those mining and manufacturing.

[Emily]
Right?

[Shep]
This is going to date me as a million years old. But back in, I think, the 90s, my dad’s secretary was complaining about her 3Com modem and she’s like, “I might need to upgrade to a 4Com.”

[Thomas]
Haha. That’s great. I like that.

[Shep]
Yeah.